Adult Child

[Monday]

I have a 29 yr. old daughter who was diagnosed with BPD in high school and was treated with medication and counseling but quit both when she went to college. So she does not recognize that she has a disorder. She made it through college and got her bachelor's degree and now is attempting to get her masters degree. Of course the first school she went to didn't work out so she now is in process of transferring to another school many miles away. She continues to exhibit the typical characteristics of BPD with emotional controlling outbursts, accusatory statements, at times a false reality. I am her sole financial support and after this last episode I feel that I should cut off the support. We have be doing this for years, sort of doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. I'm looking for advice.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[AVR1962]

Can you sit with her and talk to her about how she can become financially independent? Give her a time-frame perhaps that you are willing to help and then after that point she is on her own?

[lbjnltx]

Hi Monday,

Welcome to the Parenting Board.  It's great that you are here looking for advice and asking questions about how to deal with your daughter.

It's also great that she is so well educated and I know that you made that possible with financial support and probably a great deal of encouragement over the years. 

Does your daughter live with you?  Does she have any means of self support?

Do you feel she is being irresponsible regarding working on her masters at your expense (literally)?

I look forward to hearing back from you.


lbj