Things said that messed with my head

[disorderedsociety]

From her:

After the first breakup, when I returned... ."You're just going through a hermit phase, like I did."

"You're just too young... .you wanting to leaving me is like the phase I went through when I moved to X and did cocaine and lived with a bunch of strangers." (Implying I'm simply too immature to be with her? That one hurt. She was 3 years older.)

"You always ____. You never ____."

"Promise you'll never leave me or cheat on me?"

From the replacement:

"You need to convince yourself you deserve better than narcissists" (as he is courting my ex and lying to me about it -- which is true but the fact he said that and then got with someone who can be very narcissistic is beyond me.)

"I acted like a child in my last relationship." (why would you wanna be with my ex? Isn't it a bit childish to have a kid with someone after a month of being with them? And trying to get with a taken woman before that?)

"She's (my ex) is a lot like me... ."

F*** it dude, you can have her. Your problem now.

As always, brutal honesty is appreciated in any insights anyone may have into what motivated these individuals to betray me. Even if that sounds a bit melodramatic.

[enlighten me]

I think we have all spent ages trying to work out why things were said.

My ex wife told me a few times that our age gap of 6 years caused her problems. She is now married to someone 10 years older than her.

Why your friend betrayed you well it could be a number of reasons. She may have white knighted him. He could have been told you were a bad boyfriend, you didn't understand her like he does, you didn't love her and she was wanting to escape but was scared. Or it could be that the guys a jerk who just thinks with whats between his legs.

At the end of the day it all comes down to how a pwBPD is feeling at a particular moment in time. They may wake up in a good mood and you happen to do something nice for them and the feel they love you. They may wake up in a bad mood and no matter what you do they feel they hate you.

Things they say can be down to their feelings at that moment in time. You may have been seen as too young because she saw someone older that she took a shine to. They can also be down to projection. She may not have been seeing you as too you but projecting her immaturity on you.

You can try to fathom this  out but will never know the truth of it. That said I found it worthwhile to think about it as it allowed me to explore the relationship dynamics and gain a better understanding of what pwBPD go through.