When they don't get the response they want

[sisterofbpd]

Hello all,

I've been LC with BPDsis for years and strickly NC with her since the end of December, at which time she called me her Exsister and said FU to me while coping in our extended family.  It was a completely unprovoked attack from her.

Things have been great while not speaking/seeing her and I have no wish to reconnect with her.  She is just too abusive and hurtful.  One of her big targets has always been my husband, not sure why since she was the one who begged me to date him in the first place.  I guess it was ok to date him as long as it didn't work out, ha!

Anyway, she always refers to him as P$ck and constantly smears him to our extended family and friends.  Today she sent him a message on FB saying:

"Listen up you pathetic snake. I KNOW that you cheated or tried to on my sister. I have credible witnesses. If my sister EVER disappears, I will make sure the police look directly at YOU. So if you have any plans of pulling a Scott Peterson... .that's exactly where you will end up. D$CK"

This is coming from a woman who was telling everyone who would listen that she believed she was my biological mother (she is 8 years older than me) also claimed her human DNA was turning into plant DNA and told my Dad to bury his civil war gun collection because the government would seize them.  Also, my niece saw her out a few nights ago and said it was obvious she was impaired... \

We do not plan on responding what so ever, but I can't help but feel that since she will not be getting the response she wants, she will try some other way to provoke us.

[losthero]

Your sister sounds very unstable right now.   Maybe schizoaffective d/o?  She has paranoia and delusional thinking. I worry that she is targeting your spouse.   Do you have any other family member that can do a welfare check on her or call the police to do one? I would hesitate to have you call the police only because she is targeting your family, this may enrage her more.  She needs stablization however. My mom gets like this too. My mom targets my spouse more than me. She has gone so far as to call CPS on me and my spouse to accuse us of abusing our kids. My mom is feriously jealous of others and tends to demonize people all the time.  Its scary because their delusional thinking and accusations can cause you and your family real harm and extreme stress.  I would caution you about interacting much with your sister.

[Pina colada]

Wow sisterofBPD, you have it challenging.  I am no doctor but it does like other mental illness mixed in with BPD.  LC or NC sometimes is all we can do for our own sanity.  What I found with my BPD sister is she always had to have a scapegoat.  She was quite abusive to me when we were kids, she is older than I am too.  After childhood, she was abusive to our mom until she passed away.  She never visited her when she was dying of stage 4 brain cancer.  She showed up at funeral service but found out mom cut her out of inheritance.  Ever since, i have become her scapegoat, target, etc.  I am NC and have recently made changes where I don't ask about her or go near anything she touches.  Can you go completely NC?  It totally enrages them though.  they may even accuse us/you of having BPD because of the cutoff.  Remember, they can take no blame.  Good luck and stay LC and healthy. 

[sisterofbpd]

Your sister sounds very unstable right now.   Maybe schizoaffective d/o?  She has paranoia and delusional thinking. I worry that she is targeting your spouse.   Do you have any other family member that can do a welfare check on her or call the police to do one? I would hesitate to have you call the police only because she is targeting your family, this may enrage her more.  She needs stablization however. My mom gets like this too. My mom targets my spouse more than me. She has gone so far as to call CPS on me and my spouse to accuse us of abusing our kids. My mom is feriously jealous of others and tends to demonize people all the time.  Its scary because their delusional thinking and accusations can cause you and your family real harm and extreme stress.  I would caution you about interacting much with your sister.

Hi Losthero,

Thanks for your response.  Yes, she is BPD and schizoaffective, she was diagnosed as both.  She lives with her boyfriend so he is making sure she is physically ok.  I have never spoken to him but I hear that he is a good influence on her for whatever that is worth.  I wish she would get stabilization but I have learned that I cannot simply make that happen.  She is certainly targeting my spouse and we can't help but think that she wants to make me disappear and then pin it on him.  Her and I cannot stand each other and she is crazy enough to do something.   

Wow sisterofBPD, you have it challenging.  I am no doctor but it does like other mental illness mixed in with BPD.  LC or NC sometimes is all we can do for our own sanity.  What I found with my BPD sister is she always had to have a scapegoat.  She was quite abusive to me when we were kids, she is older than I am too.  After childhood, she was abusive to our mom until she passed away.  She never visited her when she was dying of stage 4 brain cancer.  She showed up at funeral service but found out mom cut her out of inheritance.  Ever since, i have become her scapegoat, target, etc.  I am NC and have recently made changes where I don't ask about her or go near anything she touches.  Can you go completely NC?  It totally enrages them though.  they may even accuse us/you of having BPD because of the cutoff.  Remember, they can take no blame.  Good luck and stay LC and healthy. 

Hi Pina colada,

Thanks for your thoughts.  The problem is, I have been NC, I do not communicate with her in anyway.  Back in December she showed up at my work unannounced, informed me that her life is in danger from some neighbor (this was two weeks after her telling me completely unprovoked to move out of state and told our mother to die).  I told her to leave me out of her drama.  A few nasty emails from her ensued and I blocked her on FB and from calling or texting my phone.  I am strictly NC, she sent this to my DH and I made him block her.

Last night my brother told me that she sent the message she sent to my DH to him, his wife and 5 other people.  We are not going to respond to her so I am guessing the hate emails will start soon.

[HappyChappy]

When a BPD is trying to provoke you, any indication that they’re making in roads will just encourage them. Much as it would an 8 year old.

You can’t stop her upping the auntie, but if she breaks any laws consider a legal letter. Mainly just to document a precedent. I’m not a lawyer, but what she’s written on FC look like defamation of character. Why not just block her from your FC ? I think that then takes down these comments (not sure).

[sisterofbpd]

When a BPD is trying to provoke you, any indication that they’re making in roads will just encourage them. Much as it would an 8 year old.

You can’t stop her upping the auntie, but if she breaks any laws consider a legal letter. Mainly just to document a precedent. I’m not a lawyer, but what she’s written on FC look like defamation of character. Why not just block her from your FC ? I think that then takes down these comments (not sure).

Thanks for the advice HappyChappy!  I have blocked her from FB, she's been blocked since December.  I thought she was blocked from my DH's FB as well but she wasn't.  He wasn't friends with her on there so he wasn't thinking she could message him like she did.  Anyway, she is blocked now.