Left my BPD fiance 3 weeks

[EmptyShell]

Hi Everyone,

I'm here because I need to hear from others who have experienced what I have.  I left my BPD fiance about 3 weeks ago, after being together for 4 years, with this last year being complete hell.  I want to just have others like myself hear me and if you have been in similar situations, please reach out to me.  It seems no one understands what I've been through, they don't understand what that man did to me.  I am so proud of myself for finally leaving, but now I'm sitting here like an empty, depressing shell of myself.  I am 32 years old and live in South Florida, no children, no job because I worked for his restaurant and if I ever left him, he made it clear I could never step foot in his restaurant again... so besides the break up, I am looking for work.  Email buddies or Facebook friends would be nice, I am really hurting.

Thanks

[toddinrochester]

Hello EmptyShell. I am sorry about what you are feeling and going through. I consider myself a fairly strong person mentally having gone through alcoholism and drug addiction and suicide attempts and psychosis. I beat them all and got my life back. Having fallen in love with someone that has BPD I can tell you that out of everything I have dealt with, this was the struggle of my life. I have never, ever felt so gutted and worthless. I have seen many low times in my life and I am currently in school for Behavioral Psychology and I volunteer on a crisis hotline and I have all these tools I can use to help others in need. This flattened my soul and left me unable to function, even knowing the coping techniques I have. However, you are here. You are in a great place that is full of amazing people that have the same story as you and I. This is a safe place.

I have spent the last few days soaking up every section on this site. I need you to know, and I say this from the bottom of my heart, you are truly not alone. I am right here next to you feeling the same things. So are the rest of the people on this board. It gets easier each day and thats not just something I am saying to temporarily ease the pain. It really does. Now that you have identified this as what happened you should be able to deal with it a little easier. I spent three weeks in the worst funk of my life until I stumbled on BPD and in an instant I felt peace. I am not some kind of veteran here, I just found this a few days ago but my pain and sentiments are echoed on every page of every section here. So are yours. Feel free to message me if you want, I work from home. But scroll these pages and read the other stories. Its helpful.

[saintgrey]

You came to the right place 

I felt the same way not too long ago, broken and like a shadow of who i was but in my case my ex gf moved out of our 5 years r/s while doing the last thing i though she could do... .I'm doing much better now ! 

I remember at first how difficult it is because after such a long time you have this habits with your partner and to end so abruptly its hard, i wish i was strong like you to put an end to my r/s a long time ago.

Like you said one of the hardest part is sometimes our relatives or close friends never really knew what was really going on so they don't understand but here you will be understood.

[HappyNihilist]

Hi EmptyShell, and welcome to the family. I'm glad you found us - there are many people here who understand.

It sounds like you've been through the wringer, I'm sorry.   Not only did your relationship end, but you lost your job, as well. How is the search for a new job coming?

You deserve to be proud of yourself for ending a relationship that was unhealthy for you!

It's normal to feel drained and depressed afterwards. These relationships are complicated and often painful, and detaching from them takes time. There's a lot to process in the aftermath.

Do you want to share some more of your story? It helps to talk.

[Teereese]

Welcome empty shell 

I am ending a 21 year marriage with uBPDh.

I can relate. It took me years of insanity to finally let go.

None of my family or friends understood what I dealt with for all those years. I now have a support system in some family and friends. I found this site, which is awesome. Do you have a support system? I had to learn to lean on mine. I had some pretty dark days, which is normal in the aftermath.

I am sorry that you have been through this. You are not alone and it does get better as you find yourself.

You are strong and deserve to feel pride in yourself.

Everyone here is great and understands first hand.