Hi Greeceheidired,
I thought I could say: we are separated, so public displays of love, especially combined with contrary expressions are unhealthy for our daughter and for me. If you have had a change of heart regarding divorce please talk to me privately about what you thinking. I care about you and hope you are learning and understanding more of yourself as I am. He is defensive and whenever I communicated negative things, like telling him he was being disrespectful or condescending he would become angry. Then I started saying it hurst my feelings when ... .And he'd say "what are going to do about it".
Any advice would be appreciated!
this is a reasonable thing to want but telling him is not a boundary for you. You lack the ability to defend it.
Can you think of steps you can take to deal with these unwanted advances?