ExBPDh set date for wedding to replacement - Mixed feelings about this

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

I found out today that my exBPDh has set a date for his wedding to the replacement.  This is planned for 6 months time.  They have been together for 2 years.

I had expected them to be married before now as due to the culture the replacement is from, their weddings usually take place fairly quickly once the relationship is publicly known.  Although given the fact that the replacement was not bothered about being with a married man, perhaps she doesn't place much importance on the traditions of her family and friends.

When I first found out the date of their wedding I was shocked.  It was like a smaller version of the pain in my heart that I had when he told me he was with the replacement and didn't love me anymore.  But now a few hours later, I am almost pleased.  I keep thinking that this is when the real problems will start for them.  He is following the same timeline that he did with me.  By this point he had started being horrible to my family and looking back, I can see he wasn't that nice to me most of the time.  I was desperately trying to get back to how we had been at the beginning and our wedding was supposed to be a new start of sorts.  He was totally uninterested and refused to comply with minor details such as what colour tie I wanted him to wear.  (He wears this colour tie now!).  I think he was deliberately trying to take away some of the enjoyment I was getting in planning our big day.  He didn't want me to be happy.  I really don't know why he married me at all.  It clearly meant nothing to him.  The only reason I can think of is that he knew I had reached the point where if we weren't getting married, I would have ended the relationship.  At that time he had too much to lose and didn't have a replacement.

I believe he may be doing this same thing again.  At his age, he is unlikely to find a replacement and he admitted to me when he left, that he doesn't want to be alone.  I think that regardless of whether he wants this wedding or not, he is going along with it to keep the replacement where he wants her.  I think that once that ring is on her finger, he will begin to treat her like crap, just as he did with me and the two wives that came before me.  This actually makes me happy because at last the replacement will get what she deserves.

Has anyone experienced this?  What was the outcome?  Did history repeat itself?  I think it will but if they do turn out to live happily ever after, I know it will leave me thinking that I was the problem after all.  Although logically, I can see that with this being his 4th wife, with the replacements being lined up before each divorce (either before separation or within days) that clearly he has a problem!

[Popcorn71]

I found out today that my exBPDh has set a date for his wedding to the replacement.  This is planned for 6 months time.  They have been together for 2 years.

I had expected them to be married before now as due to the culture the replacement is from, their weddings usually take place fairly quickly once the relationship is publicly known.  Although given the fact that the replacement was not bothered about being with a married man, perhaps she doesn't place much importance on the traditions of her family and friends.

When I first found out the date of their wedding I was shocked.  It was like a smaller version of the pain in my heart that I had when he told me he was with the replacement and didn't love me anymore.  But now a few hours later, I am almost pleased.  I keep thinking that this is when the real problems will start for them.  He is following the same timeline that he did with me.  By this point he had started being horrible to my family and looking back, I can see he wasn't that nice to me most of the time.  I was desperately trying to get back to how we had been at the beginning and our wedding was supposed to be a new start of sorts.  He was totally uninterested and refused to comply with minor details such as what colour tie I wanted him to wear.  (He wears this colour tie now!).  I think he was deliberately trying to take away some of the enjoyment I was getting in planning our big day.  He didn't want me to be happy.  I really don't know why he married me at all.  It clearly meant nothing to him.  The only reason I can think of is that he knew I had reached the point where if we weren't getting married, I would have ended the relationship.  At that time he had too much to lose and didn't have a replacement.

I believe he may be doing this same thing again.  At his age, he is unlikely to find a replacement and he admitted to me when he left, that he doesn't want to be alone.  I think that regardless of whether he wants this wedding or not, he is going along with it to keep the replacement where he wants her.  I think that once that ring is on her finger, he will begin to treat her like crap, just as he did with me and the two wives that came before me.  This actually makes me happy because at last the replacement will get what she deserves.

Has anyone experienced this?  What was the outcome?  Did history repeat itself?  I think it will but if they do turn out to live happily ever after, I know it will leave me thinking that I was the problem after all.  Although logically, I can see that with this being his 4th wife, with the replacements being lined up before each divorce (either before separation or within days) that clearly he has a problem!