I just had to block email

[Eyeamme]

I just had to block my 34yo uBPD daughter's email. It is too hurtful to read. I am still having a hard time wrapping my head around all of this. I can't unlearn what I have learned and it hurts so bad. I just want to wake up.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[understandnow]

Eyeamme, I have been following your posts and I hear so much anguish in your words.  We all know how it feels to be attacked by someone we love for something we can not wrap our head around.  I am so sorry you are going through this.  It is especially hard when there are grandchildren involved. 

I am working on radical acceptance in the behavior of my son and his wife, who both have most if not all of BPD behavior.  There are 4 beautiful children.  I had to mourn the fact that there will not be a normal holiday with my son and Dil.  I focus on my three other lovely children and their significant others.  I live in the moment and enjoy every moment I can spend with them.  My husband and I have a fulfilling life.  we have set our boundaries and ignore the disrespect and the distorted allegations.  It is hard and I am working in doing the best I can. 

Know we all feel your sadness and know it is a no win situation no matter what you do.  Hang in there and don't get pulled into the drama.  We have all been there and will be there again.

[Eyeamme]

Thank you so much. I needed that so badly.

[AVR1962]

Don't feel bad, it is okay to block your daughter's emails. You do not need to be beaten up with her hateful words. Save your sanity, save yourself.

[Eyeamme]

Again thank you. I feel like I was in a cult. I had no clue that it was her and not me. 30 years and I just was set free to think and do what I want and now I am walking around like a zombie. This board is keeping me sane. The things I am doing to keep myself sane seem so counter intuitive to being a mom.

[understandnow]

You have reached a good point in your relationship with a BPD person.  To realize it is not your fault.  The only control you have is how you react and not let it consume your life.  I hated that place I was in... .if only I said this to him/her I could fix all of it... .wrong!  I've learned to set boundaries and explain once.  Whatever fallout that happens is on them. 

I don't think you can ever get to the point in your life where it totally doesn't bother but you do feel powerful when you don't allow yourself to react. 

Good luck with your daughter.  We are all here for you.

[Eyeamme]

Thank you! I am processing all this new awareness. I couldn't do it without all of you. I appreciate all of you more than you will ever know. I feel like you are all holding my hand.