What does it mean to be recycled?

[Joem678]

Hi there,

I have posted posted earlier this week, in case you want the whole story.  But I have been married w/4 kids for 19 years.  She has strayed throughout the years.   Five years ago, was a full blown affair.  .  She always mentions divorce but never files.  She has no filters right now, including with my youngest daughters (7 and 6).  Am I being recycled? or Is it part of my wife's BPD.  Maybe, I'm not understanding what being recycled means.

[guy4caligirl]

... .It means you took her back and a trying to make the relationship recycle  and work again !

[Suzn]

She has no filters right now, including with my youngest daughters (7 and 6).  

What does this look like specifically?

A recycle is when both partners decide to get back together after a breakup. Either partner can initiate a recycle.    This term isn't exclusive to BPD. You can find more info on BPD behaviors and your relationship on your screen to the right->

You said she threatens divorce but never files, what about you, what are your plans?

[Joem678]

Well his time around I'm not chasing her.  I got into therapy and am working on myself.  I was told just work on yourself but I never knew what that meant. Here's my dilemma.  She left 3.5 months ago. I see her more distant than ever but then again not chasing her.  I'm keeping my distance.   I have healed tremendously emotionally this time.  I can stay away from her.  There have been some weird behavior this time around.  It's new territory again because I'm not chasing her.   I do not know what to expect.  When we communicate we only speak about the kids but her threads will be on going until I cut her off.  I stopped telling her I love you or miss you long time ago. 

No filters means that she is seeing someone else, the kids know but they've been told "don't tell dad". Stuff like that.  My dilemma is that i always acted like a "man" rather than her husband.  I never knew what BPD was.  She is not diagnosed but I suspect it.  So do I see her illness (in sickness and in health) or do I see adultery.   I hope this makes sense.  She has guilted me for 20 years so detachment is a slow and hard process. 

[shatra]

 Does recycle relate to the term garbage

( I recycle something---I throw it away and then it becomes changed into a different form later and used again)

or the term RE-cycle

(We went through a "cycle" i.e. we were together and then broke up, and now we are in a  REcycle---we are back together (and likely will break up again)