needing help on what to do

[benplost]

My wife and I have been together for 6 years married for 5. We have 4 kids together. I at first thought when things started that it was just the hormones of being pregnant.  Getting upset at me and assuming I am cheating on her or doing drugs. Then goes back to I love you so much please don't leave me. Through the years I tried many things, counseling, with and without her. Talking to our pastor. But to no avail. I have been willing to get tested for anything, if she would go get tested and hear someone on the outside out about BPD. To she decided to be unfaithful and find someone else. I always get it's my fault to the point of getting depressed myself. We've went to counselors but as soon as a finger was pointed in her direction she was done with going. I love my wife and don't want to see our 4 kids go through this

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[thefixermom]

You've made a great step toward understanding and getting yourself well by coming here. Your journey toward understanding and the acquisition of helpful tools and setting healthy boundaries will go a long ways toward helping your children, too. They are already going through it so they need you to stay well and have the best perspective.  It is very depressing to try and fix something that cannot be fixed and the pain associated with staying in an extremely difficult situation for the sake of others.  But once you are balanced and lovingly detached (from the illness), you can stabilize to a certain extent and be the rock your children will need... .whether you stay in the marriage or not.