looking for support group in person

[electricleo]

Hi all,

I just stumbled on this website looking for a personal support group in the Hamilton, ON area.  My sister has not been properly diagnosed with BPD but definitely displays all the traits, she hasn't been properly diagnosed because she refuses to get help.  The problem is my mother is trapped by her and needs help herself to deal with her.  I don't live with them and my sister doesn't talk to me, so I'm in a bind myself. 

Since there is no way to force my sister to get help and find an actual diagnosis, my mother's mental health is deteriorating having to deal with my sister.  My mom is not tech savvy and needs to get out of that house on a regular basis, so an online support group is not the thing for her.  She needs to sit and talk to people going through the same thing.

If anyone knows of a support group that meets in person in the Hamilton ON area, please reply/post.

Thanks and take care

[Kwamina]

Hi electricleo

Since when has your sister been exhibiting what you now consider BPD traits? What would you say are her most difficult or troublesome behaviors?

It is unfortunate that she refuses to seek help. Do you feel like she at any time perhaps has acknowledged that there might be something wrong with her behavior?

I understand your concerns for your mother. Living with a BPD family-member can really take its toll on people. Does your mother also believe your sister has BPD?

We have some material here that you could perhaps print out for you mother. Certain communication techniques can be very helpful when dealing with people with BPD:

Express yourself: S.E.T. --> Support, Empathy, Truth

Assert yourself: D.E.A.R.M.A.N. --> Describe, Express, Assert, Reinforce, Stay Mindful, Appear Confident, Negotiate

You say your sister doesn't talk to you, when did this start and did anything in particular lead up to it?

If I find a personal support group in that area, I will let you know. I did find some other links for support in that area that you might find helpful:

https://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/prof_results.php?city=Hamilton&state=ON&spec=196

https://groups.psychologytoday.com/rms/prof_results.php?sid=1447924738.439_16329&city=Hamilton&state=ON&spec=196

Take care