I feel like a crazy storm is brewing

[Depression = 72% of members]

So, my BPD ex, whom I am still sharing a home with until end of December, left this past Friday to drive 21 hours back home where we moved here out of state from to see her family. She drove the whole way without stopping and arrived on Saturday. Last week, after her staying home and being a bit more tame for over a month, she dysregulated again and started binge drinking and stayed out all night over at god knows who's place without coming home Sunday, Wednesday and Thursday. I might also note that last week was both my birthday and the anniversary of my father's death from cancer a few years ago. she completely pushed me away and painted me black (was mean and nasty to me on my birthday, told me she cannot stand me - that she hates me, talked about moving on from me with someone else - saying she deserves to be 'happy" all while also telling me she is afraid I will abandon her if she doesn't find anyone else (nice), she came out and told me she has been looking at my facebook -though we are not friends anymore on there - and "can see my stuff", she  came at me and tried to kick me during an argument... .basically she was being a real psycho and acting like I am scum to her.

Her behavior since she has left is  making absolutely no sense and I need some help analyzing it so I can prepare for what is coming, as I have a gut feeling she is up to something... .

Here are a few things that have happened:

- she has been texting me since she left after ignoring me all last week... .she has been complaining that there was an ice storm the day she arrived and telling me how horrible her trip is

- she tried to ask what I am doing indirectly (I hope you are doing ____ , ____ and _____ while I am gone... .are you?)

- she changed all of her facebook posts while she is out of town to public, after having it set to private for a long time (we have mutual friends and I noticed her posts popping up in my feed when one comments on her stuff)

- she took my favorite pair of jeans with her (I have no idea why!) and I texted her pointing out that they are missing... .she then called me immediately after and asked why I need them and asked what I am doing and said "what would I be doing with your jeans anyhow... ." (she never ever ever calls me anymore... it has been weeks since this girl called me on the phone)

-she keeps talking about moving with me

-she has complained that her family isn't spending time with her and that the ice storm there ruined her trip

THIS IS THE KICKER:

she texts me this big long novel today about how miserable she is and how she is driving home today... WHEN SHE JUST GOT THERE SATURDAY AFTER DRIVING 20 HOURS STRAIGHT! she claims it is because she is staying in a hotel with her mom, her mom did not take off work to spend time with her and there are a lot of people without power there and no power at her family home - but I don't buy it. So this woman is going to turn around 2 days later and drive 20 hours back home again when she was supposed to be there until Saturday... it makes no sense. wouldn't she just wait it out since she was supposed to be there until Saturday? can she not visit friends and hang out while her mom is at work and be patient for her little brother to get back from his father's... .

The day she left, I met someone out while jogging at the park. we exchanged numbers and have been chatting all weekend since Friday and hung out a couple of times. I cannot help but to wonder if possibly my ex somehow found out and freaked out... .I am not sure how she would know... .but it is just odd to me that she leaves town and starts being chatty with me when before leaving, she did not want anything to do with me for 7 days... .her reasoning for cutting her trip short like that just isn't adding up.

She let me know she is on her way back home about 2 hours ago... and she plans to drive straight through again... .I feel like a disaster is waiting to happen. I just have a gut feeling. Plus, she is alone in her car with nothing but her thoughts (unless she is chatting up replacements on the phone) ... .I notice when my ex is forced to be alone with her own thoughts, she usually ends up ruminating on the past. I feel this could have been why she texted me during her drive and started opening back up to me again... .I just do not think anything good will come out of this drive back here basically.

I am really on edge and not sure what to expect when she arrives back... .but her being hopped up on energy drinks, having a severe lack of sleep and being alone with her thoughts all that time might be a recipe for disaster. I have tried to not contact her at all since she has been gone and all contact has been initiated by her except when I asked why she took my jeans. I responded to a text of hers from the night prior at 4am this morning without thinking and I realize I probably shouldn't have done it. she may be obsessing over why I am up that early and where I am... .I had to be at work early for a meeting this morning. I cant help but wonder if that is what triggered her to cut her trip short and drive back.

I know borderlines are impulsive... .but I was hoping maybe someone could offer their perspective on her erratic behavior... maybe give me some advice on what I should expect and how to handle her when she returns.

[CharWood]

So, my BPD ex, whom I am still sharing a home with until end of December, left this past Friday to drive 21 hours back home where we moved here out of state from to see her family. She drove the whole way without stopping and arrived on Saturday. Last week, after her staying home and being a bit more tame for over a month, she dysregulated again and started binge drinking and stayed out all night over at god knows who's place without coming home Sunday, Wednesday and Thursday. I might also note that last week was both my birthday and the anniversary of my father's death from cancer a few years ago. she completely pushed me away and painted me black (was mean and nasty to me on my birthday, told me she cannot stand me - that she hates me, talked about moving on from me with someone else - saying she deserves to be 'happy" all while also telling me she is afraid I will abandon her if she doesn't find anyone else (nice), she came out and told me she has been looking at my facebook -though we are not friends anymore on there - and "can see my stuff", she  came at me and tried to kick me during an argument... .basically she was being a real psycho and acting like I am scum to her.

Her behavior since she has left is  making absolutely no sense and I need some help analyzing it so I can prepare for what is coming, as I have a gut feeling she is up to something... .

Here are a few things that have happened:

- she has been texting me since she left after ignoring me all last week... .she has been complaining that there was an ice storm the day she arrived and telling me how horrible her trip is

- she tried to ask what I am doing indirectly (I hope you are doing ____ , ____ and _____ while I am gone... .are you?)

- she changed all of her facebook posts while she is out of town to public, after having it set to private for a long time (we have mutual friends and I noticed her posts popping up in my feed when one comments on her stuff)

- she took my favorite pair of jeans with her (I have no idea why!) and I texted her pointing out that they are missing... .she then called me immediately after and asked why I need them and asked what I am doing and said "what would I be doing with your jeans anyhow... ." (she never ever ever calls me anymore... it has been weeks since this girl called me on the phone)

-she keeps talking about moving with me

-she has complained that her family isn't spending time with her and that the ice storm there ruined her trip

THIS IS THE KICKER:

she texts me this big long novel today about how miserable she is and how she is driving home today... WHEN SHE JUST GOT THERE SATURDAY AFTER DRIVING 20 HOURS STRAIGHT! she claims it is because she is staying in a hotel with her mom, her mom did not take off work to spend time with her and there are a lot of people without power there and no power at her family home - but I don't buy it. So this woman is going to turn around 2 days later and drive 20 hours back home again when she was supposed to be there until Saturday... it makes no sense. wouldn't she just wait it out since she was supposed to be there until Saturday? can she not visit friends and hang out while her mom is at work and be patient for her little brother to get back from his father's... .

The day she left, I met someone out while jogging at the park. we exchanged numbers and have been chatting all weekend since Friday and hung out a couple of times. I cannot help but to wonder if possibly my ex somehow found out and freaked out... .I am not sure how she would know... .but it is just odd to me that she leaves town and starts being chatty with me when before leaving, she did not want anything to do with me for 7 days... .her reasoning for cutting her trip short like that just isn't adding up.

She let me know she is on her way back home about 2 hours ago... and she plans to drive straight through again... .I feel like a disaster is waiting to happen. I just have a gut feeling. Plus, she is alone in her car with nothing but her thoughts (unless she is chatting up replacements on the phone) ... .I notice when my ex is forced to be alone with her own thoughts, she usually ends up ruminating on the past. I feel this could have been why she texted me during her drive and started opening back up to me again... .I just do not think anything good will come out of this drive back here basically.

I am really on edge and not sure what to expect when she arrives back... .but her being hopped up on energy drinks, having a severe lack of sleep and being alone with her thoughts all that time might be a recipe for disaster. I have tried to not contact her at all since she has been gone and all contact has been initiated by her except when I asked why she took my jeans. I responded to a text of hers from the night prior at 4am this morning without thinking and I realize I probably shouldn't have done it. she may be obsessing over why I am up that early and where I am... .I had to be at work early for a meeting this morning. I cant help but wonder if that is what triggered her to cut her trip short and drive back.

I know borderlines are impulsive... .but I was hoping maybe someone could offer their perspective on her erratic behavior... maybe give me some advice on what I should expect and how to handle her when she returns.

[C.Stein]

Maybe tell her to get some sleep?

[ArleighBurke]

I'm only a newbie, but it just sounds like normally BPD craziness. She wants drama, and an audience.

I've gotta ask why you are still living together for another month - that blurs the lines and i think it sends an unclear message to the BPD... .