Just need to vent and be heard ...

[Leena]

My uBPDh and I are currently juggling too many things, 2 house sales one purchase, rental on two properties. Managing his mum our two kids and both full time working (me recently after maternity) both of us with new parts to our job role. I was so proud for the last 3-4 weeks that under this pressure there had been no significant triggers.

That ended spectacularly tonight as I defended the one job I hadn't done which was return a call of an estate agent. Not one we are currently dealing with but one who used to market one of our properties. Now he rang me two weeks ago, I stupidly told my uBPDh at the time but then forgot to follow up. In my head if it was a belated offer or anything important he would have tried again. Estate agents are not known for being backward at coming forward!

But apparently according to H he has reminded me last week and this week and I still haven't returned the call.

I said I am sorry I have not done this I will prioritise it tomorrow, but not enough he is still angry 3 hrs on. He has called me every name under the sun and I am back to being worthless. Does this ever hurt any less? I stupidly fell back into defence 'I have done x,y,z and z x4 ' but that never helps. I wish I could stop this, I did stay calm though even though all I wanted to do was rage and cry.

I guess as usual he will behave like a bas***d tomorrow morning and even after I have rung this guy although he will be calmer tomorrow night.

I am yet again banished from the bedroom and likely to be the sole career for our kids tonight if they wake. He doesn't care about anyone else when he gets triggered it is just him and his hurt and disappointment in me and that falls out on the kids in terms of his language is going to start impacting them. My 3 yr old is parroting everything now and when he is like this even though it is my H who says all the horrible words it is MY fault if my 3 yr old starts talking like that... .

I am sorry to bore you with all this I just needed to write it down, thanks for reading... .

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[Turkish]

You've got so much going on Leena, and it's sad that he doesn't exhibit a little mercy for what should be an understandable lapse.