Jane,
Yes I was stable, confident, and content in life before I met her. All that is gone now as most everyone on here can relate. Makes me question wether I was truly satisfied before this relationship. I have discovered a lot of my true self since the breakup, including codependency. In the long term discovering my underlying self may help me in the future? Therapy has opened my eyes to a whole new world and way of thinking.
Just don't know. Still so hurt. Still very much in love.
We are in good company, Brother. I too was happy, active, didn't smoke, friends, and future plans. I feel he took all that from me also sometimes but then I remembered, I gave it to him. I will go back to the awesome, beautiful, strong, happy, and well adjusted woman I was... .just a lot wiser. My heart will always be open but I see my codependency will need to be managed forever, it can't be cured. I am ok with that. I'd rather put energy into controlling that than put it in his endless black well of torment. I am still in love with him and I know it will not ever be the dream he sold me.