Shade of Black

[C.Stein]

I was thinking yesterday about being painted "black" and how many different shades there are.  Then I thought perhaps the depth of black is proportional to how many wrong/bad things the other person did to you and the severity of those actions/words.  The worse it gets, the blacker the paint.   As can be seen on this forum, many pwBPD struggle with accepting responsibility for their actions and projection seems common. 

Share your thoughts related to your own experiences.

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PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[babyducks]

I have to say one size doesn't fit all.    I do not get painted black as I understand what you are describing.  Looking back with 20/20 hindsight I would say most of the difficulties in my relationship came from our vastly different communication styles.

[unicorn2014]

I notice as soon as I ask a question my pwBPD doesn't want to answer I'm insulted . And then if I point out he's critiquing me he gets defensive. It's very tempting to turn around and do the same thing to him but I know that won't help. It takes a lot of self assurance to stay in a r/s with a person with BPD. They will only assure you when it is for their own comfort.