An Email From The Grinch

[Beware of Junk Psychology...]

I got an email from my stbx last night at 9:35 (he was probably drunk)... .it said;

"Best present you gave me in years was you not being apart of my life this year. Thank you!"

Wasn't that special? Again, I feel like this is a jerk I am dealing with! That was flat out mean!

I hope everyone here has a Merry Christmas without your BPD partners... .I can only imagine what the people that are with them are dealing with. That is what we have to remember!

[Herodias]

I got an email from my stbx last night at 9:35 (he was probably drunk)... .it said;

"Best present you gave me in years was you not being apart of my life this year. Thank you!"

Wasn't that special? Again, I feel like this is a jerk I am dealing with! That was flat out mean!

I hope everyone here has a Merry Christmas without your BPD partners... .I can only imagine what the people that are with them are dealing with. That is what we have to remember!

[C.Stein]

That was mean.  

He is probably hurting, lonely and blaming you, so he lashed out.  We have all been there, but lashing out like that out of the blue with the intent to hurt you is not the hallmark of an emotionally mature person.

You need a hug.   

[Herodias]

Thanks for the hug C.Stein, I think you are right. He and his pregnant gf are alone this Xmas... .all by their own choice. She would have been with her husband and his family... .and he would have been with my family. They are alone by choice. They both chose to leave their spouses... .so I do not feel bad for them. He usually acts out on Xmas,getting drunk and cutting himself. I am glad not to be a part of that drama! Maybe he won't do it to her this year... .just decided to lash out at me. He usually means the opposite of what he says... .so I am going to agree with you. Lonely and immature.

[C.Stein]

Maybe he is using you as a whipping post instead of his new GF.   Perhaps it's easier (more convenient) for him to whip you and blame you for all his woes.  We all know pwBPD struggle with accepting responsibility for anything that has to do with their own emotions.

Remember, your "whipping post" is made of air, so his lashes just pass right over you.  I know it is hard to not let it leave a mark, but it does help to just let all that garbage pass over you without letting it make contact.  You know where it is coming from so that might make it easier to not take it seriously.   

[Herodias]

Thanks, that's what I thought, but I don't respond to him now, so yes- my post is air. That's what I thought - he's using me instead of her. I'm not taking it personally. Actually it made me smile because I know he's thinking about me.

[C.Stein]

Actually it made me smile because I know he's thinking about me.

Yea ... .I can understand that. 

[non_stuck]

I wish you a Merry Christmas. Healthy people don't reach out to say spiteful things. Focus on the people who are loving.

[Confused?]

Merry Christmas! Projection at it's finest. I know it probably hurt to read that but if my ex ever sent something like that I would just laugh it off because I know that I am a great person and never did her wrong. I am sure the same goes for you.

[Herodias]

Yes, I was wonderful to him for 9 years! He's the one that had the woman in our marital bed last Christmas! Maybe he's thinking about that? My friend said if I was responding to him to say , "Glad you like it because you'll be getting this from now on!" Lol

[Panda39]

... .He usually means the opposite of what he says... .so I am going to agree with you. Lonely and immature.

So when you flip the pronouns to make this statement "Best present you gave me in years was you not being apart of my life this year. Thank you!" the opposite you get... .

Best present I gave you in years was me not being a part of your life this year.  Thank you!

Merry Christmas! Projection at it's finest.

Panda39

[Herodias]

Thanks Panda! While he's miserable emailing me, the gf posted this; "Merry Christmas everyone! One of the best ones I've had in a long time despite being away from family again this year. Love you Daniel I look forward to our future holidays together )".  Clueless!

[blackbirdsong]

Thanks Panda! While he's miserable emailing me, the gf posted this; "Merry Christmas everyone! One of the best ones I've had in a long time despite being away from family again this year. Love you Daniel I look forward to our future holidays together )".  Clueless!

Go outside. Walk through the park. Drink hot tea at the corner in that small coffee shop. Call your friend and recommend that coffee shop. Paint even if you are talented as I am (not). Sit on the bench and watch people passing by. Smile. Do anything you want. Just don't spend even one minute on something that hurts you and is irrelevant to the next period of your life that doesn't include BPD problems.

[Herodias]

Thanks Blackbird song... .I am with my family. I also has surgery on Wednesday, so I am recovering from that... .I am really in some awful pain, so I am not really focused on him. I now have a Xmas to remember that will stop me from remembering the last one! Just trying to cope with this pain and don't even care much about him... .just wanted to share his e-mail and her post. Shows how different the pwBPD and the one without sees things... .We thought they were happy with us at one time too. He is obviously not overjoyed if he is contacting me with mean notes!

[SandWitch]

I think he must miss you and be holding resentment.  Very childish!  He doesn't deserve you in his life . . . LOL you definitely don't deserve his tantrum.  :D

[blackbirdsong]

Thanks Blackbird song... .I am with my family. I also has surgery on Wednesday, so I am recovering from that... .I am really in some awful pain, so I am not really focused on him. I now have a Xmas to remember that will stop me from remembering the last one! Just trying to cope with this and don't even care much about him... .just wanted to share his e-mail and her post. Shows how different the pwBPD and the one without sees things... .We thought they were happy with us at one time too. He is obviously not overjoyed if he is contacting me with mean notes!

Don't think like that. We can discuss whether they love us or not. But they enjoyed the time with us. Definitely. And I remember your posts and your situation. You also seem like a nice person. So I am sure you created wonderful moments for him and he remembers that. Maybe the bad words are just his/BPD way of saying that he misses those moments in this specific moment and knows that it is his fault. Stay strong and hope everything will be ok with your post-surgery recovery process

[Confused108]

Blue love the title! Lol! Your ex is a little boy trapped in a mans body. Don't let him get to you. He most likely is miserable and serves him right. If I were you I would just block him so you don't have to listen to his negative comments. A leopard doesn't change its spots. They just develop new ones. Merry Christmas! Focus on you!

[AwakenedOne]

My friend said if I was responding to him to say , "Glad you like it because you'll be getting this from now on!" Lol

If you aren't tied to him with kids or share property you might just consider ignoring him totally. PwBPD have only temporary happiness at best it seems. I wish you true happiness and a speedy recovery from your surgery.

[Beach_Babe]

What a lowlife. Who says things like that ON CHRISTMAS?  Shame on him.

[Fr4nz]

Please don't answer or react in ANY way. In these cases, silence speaks volumes.

[Herodias]

Who says that on Christmas? The same guy that brings another woman into his wife's bed after making her cry and leave the house Xmas eve. I'm not going to say anything- I agree! He will get his when I file for divorce next month. I don't miss his mouth a bit! Yes, he is lowlife... .Thanks for the well wishes!

[thefixermom]

The grinch side of me would want to respond with either:

"I'm sorry you are still so miserable. I thought you got everything you want"

or

"Yes, you're right. This really was the best choice for us (to part ways). I'm glad we both are happy now."


... .but the Christmas spirit side of me would sit on my hands and quietly say a prayer of gratitude and wish them well, especially for the baby's sake.

[Confused?]

Who says that on Christmas? The same guy that brings another woman into his wife's bed after making her cry and leave the house Xmas eve. I'm not going to say anything- I agree! He will get his when I file for divorce next month. I don't miss his mouth a bit! Yes, he is lowlife... .Thanks for the well wishes!

That's why he said it when he did.  It was Christmas Eve when he did that so it brought up shame and guilt remembering what he did that day.

[zeus123]

hi BH

if you stay NC and never answer his messages you will inflict on him the greatest narcissistic injury. do not ever answer back or respond on his attempts to manipulate you or hurt you, no answer from your side causes his heart to burn above 10 millions degree.

[Beach_Babe]

 It breaks my heart the lack of common decency. I pray for that poor baby.

[troisette]

That message says volumes about him and nothing about you. Yes, you need a hug. Actually, several hugs... .

     

A new year starts in a few days. Please don't let him be a part of your's... .you deserve better.