He want to come over

[Lovingme35]

After some friendly messaging back and forth yesterday between me and the ex about getting my things back, he messaged this morning saying he wants to come see my sew place. I am terrified. I know this could go a couple of ways. He could try and continue seeing the replacement and me at the same time, which I wouldn't allow. I am trying to determine what his motive is, or if it's really a good idea to tell him where I moved to. After a month of me slowly getting stronger, I am opening the door once again for more heartbreak.

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[babyducks]

Hi Lovingme35,

It's understandable to be rattled by contact.   I read some of your posts, so I understand a little of your back story.   I'll suggest that you take a couple of deep breaths and try and relax.   You are in the drivers seat here.   You have options.   You can decide which one suits you best right now.   

You can message him back and say something like 'this isn't real a good time for me to have company' if you are uncomfortable.

You can message back and say something like 'I would like to see you but lets meet in a neutral place this time'   if you want to see him.

You can message back and say something like 'I can't do that right now but thanks for the thought' if you aren't ready to see him yet.

I would suggest focusing more on what you want and feel comfortable with and less on his motives.   It will be easy to move forward if you are more confident.

What do you think?   any of that look like something you could make work?

'ducks

[Lovingme35]

Thank you. I am going to think about this for a while. I answered him back possibly tomorrow, but my week is pretty full, so I would get back to him.

That will give me a chance to decide how to proceed.

I am comfortable with seeing him and him coming over. I am not comfortable with being orbited while he's seeing someone else

[livednlearned]

Hi Lovingme35,

How did things go? Did you end up inviting him over, and if so, how did things go?