mentally gearing for the weekend...it's draining

[byfaith]

I have this compelling feeling to just lay everything out in the open.

Everything from no intimate exchanges for 3 years including passionate kissing and that feeling you get between 2 people when you love each other and then sexual intimacy. I have have talked about this quite a bit here but I think I am losing it. My ears are literally hot right now thinking how bad it stresses me. I don't have a ANY desire to cheat on my wife. She is not working through her issue with this, she says she is but I know she is not.

This morning I thought I would put my hand up the back of her shirt while she was laying in bed and just caress her back and I was rubbing her butt and back of her leg. She was 1/2 asleep but she knew I was doing it. If I dare go anywhere else I get severely reprimanded. Anyway my hand was moving under the cover and the cat was swiping at my hand and my wife reached behind her and I thought she was looking for my hand but NO she was looking for the cat and she started petting the freakin cat! It makes me feel like crap... .

I think I want to tell her I am moving out of the room. Mentally I can't take the feeling of desire that cannot be fulfilled. I think I am going to tell her how bad it makes me feel. I know that won't change her but at least I will have it out there.

Then there is no social life... .nothing.

she constantly obsesses over her son with SZ, he is 31. I have to watch what I say and how I behave with him. I am good to him by the way. Treat him like one of my own kids. Every 2 or 3 weeks she will let me know how much I fall short in helping him. It makes me want to pack my carp up and say, well do it by yourself you ungrateful... .

I know this sounds like I am venting but I am kind of trying to make myself come out to her with how I feel and then realize it won't matter. Trying to predict how to deal with the demeaning remarks I will get.

I will go home and everything will SEEM ok but its basically and roommate situation where I cannot upset her or her son or I will pay the price.

Don't get me wrong I can get along with her and we can laugh and joke about stuff and have a decent time but one misstep... .

[Lucky Jim]

Hey byfaith, Do you think you're going to change your W?  Seems doubtful.  With that in mind, what are the changes that you can make that will lead to greater happiness for you?  Forget about your wife and her son, for the moment.  Instead, focus only on YOU.  What are the things over which you have control?  Suggest you put your energy where your power is.  On some level, you clearly know that something is wrong; the question is, what to do about it?  That's your task, my friend, to figure that out.

There are some tips on Choosing a Path over here =>

LuckyJim