He contacted me 5 months later. Why do I still care?

[range4days]

Hello! I was posting this summer after my four year relationship with my BPD ex ended. From our first date, I was hooked. He was like a drug for me. I recently had come out, he had always been out. I longed to be his boyfriend for almost a year of friendship before he agreed. We became boyfriends, and were happy. His ex had cheated on him, there were a lot of unanswered questions but I was head over heels!

We broke up once for 2 months then I contacted him and we rekindled. We rekindled so much so that he moved 3 states away with me, to my hometown and we bought our first home together! I was blissfully happy. His moods were up and down. I love you so much do you love me? Will you cherish me? Will you protect me? You're my prize. To: you think I'm trash, you think I'm dumb, you hate me, this wont world, I need more... .etc.

I stayed through one indiscretion and we had a HUGE housewarming party (his idea) all of my family, friends, colleagues... .it was an affair to remember! He said at the beginning of the party "how lucky are we? We have it all... .you are the love of my life".

Fast forward to two weeks after the party, 5 months after buying the house together... .you imagine my shock when he tells me he "doesn't think it will work" we were "too different" and should sell but he wanted to buy the home from me and STAY in my hometown!

Turns out I had a "replacement"... .A 17 year old high school boy he worked with and I caught them. My ex was 26. I was disgusted, humiliated and more hurt than I had ever been.

Side note: I did some digging into his things before this happened and he had been involved in a big rape case (him the victim) at 15-17 that involved a million dollar settlement from a corporation.

My family accepted him, loved him, his family had never met boyfriends or friends of his but we flew to visit them 5 times and they loved me.

I sold him the house, he lives there, has been posting pictures since August of him and the replacement happy, in love, etc.

We ended contact in august. He emailed saying he knew he made the biggest mistake, etc. but stayed with the kid.

I've seen him out, said hello once with no response and another time with nc. I was painted black.

Now... .5 months later I get a text two days ago " happy new year, it's me... .question about the dog (we shared and he knows I loved) can you respond. I did, it was quick, take care, done.

Now... .2 days later I get a text "missing you and the you when we were good. I hope someone has come into your life and charmed you that way... ."

I saw he's back on okcupid... .but I see the boy is still liking his pictures.

He doesn't really miss me, does he? This is just a game, right?

I could really use advice because I'm still (I know, I know) madly in love with him and haven't healed. I don't want to be stupid. I got him a therapist, don't know if he still goes and after 5 grand of therapy myself, I am still torn up over this.

Thank you guys. I appreciate any advice.

[troisette]

Please stay away from him. Not good for you.

He sounds very troubled and lacking a moral compass.

Sorry. It may not be what you want to hear. 

[Confused108]

I'm sorry you went thru this. The best advice I can give you is don't turn back. As much as you love him don't. He won't change believe me. It will always be I love you / I don't. Etc. best just to move on and talk to your family , friends until ur blue in the face. It helps. My ex came back 28 years later and I had no idea about Bpd. She swore up and down she would not leave me etc. what did she do ... .Leave ! So yeas run and don't look back. The only ppl they care about is themselves.

[shatra]

Range wrote

Now... .2 days later I get a text "missing you and the you when we were good. I hope someone has come into your life and charmed you that way... ."

-----Why did he write he hopes someone has come into your life?  And yet he wants to reunite... .is he fishing/testing to see if someone is with you?  Why would he hope that you're with someone?

[Fr4nz]

Range wrote

Now... .2 days later I get a text "missing you and the you when we were good. I hope someone has come into your life and charmed you that way... ."

-----Why did he write he hopes someone has come into your life?  And yet he wants to reunite... .is he fishing/testing to see if someone is with you?  Why would he hope that you're with someone?

Welcome to the BPD world

Probably he's throwing out some feelers, or he just need some attention supply from you; don't expect he really want to get back at you (maybe he's the fantasy, but in reality he doesn't want).