Why isn't the ex posting about the replacement for 8 months on fb?

[focus]

I would appreciate your thoughts on this.

I read so many times about people looking at their ex's facebook profiles and the exes always seem to flood their facebook profiles with pictures with the replacements, quotes, poetry and statuses about their undying love for the "replacement" or the new partner.

I understand this can be really hurtful for the recently discarded person.

Then I think about the women I was married to.

She has been with her new partner for almost 8 months.

She was very active on facebook, but she isn't now and hasn't been since she replaced me almost 8 months ago.

There is nothing happening on her facebook profile, no statuses, no pictures, nothing.

I met a friend of hers a few days ago. He comes to visit once in a while, maybe once every six months or so.

He contacted her and came to visit. Only then he found out that she was divorced. He was expecting to visit her and me. He told me he was shocked to learn about this.

There is a long list of reasons why I did this but I did, because my therapist told me to do it, but I drove by her apartment the other day. I had things to do next street that I had been postponing because of the location (I didn't want to go there). Well, I did as the T told me, went there and did it, and drove past the house.

The curtains were shut, and this is unusual because the curtains were always up except in the bedroom. All the windows were shut blind.

The replacements car was outside so I think they were home.

I told a friend about this that is still friends with her on facebook and he said there had been almost nothing on her facebook page since me and her split up.

It's like she is shutting out the world or something, this is very unlike her.

The replacement is a junkie, drug addicted looser with nothing he has done with his life. He is 8 years younger than she is.

She relapsed, started doing drugs with this looser and replaced me for him.

She has been in no contact with her kids since the replacement.

She didn't even give them Christmas presents.

The kids live with their father.

I know you can't give me answers that are concrete facts and they will only be speculations but I'd like to get your thoughts and ideas as of why she hasn't been flooding her facebook profile with stuff about her new "love". Your input and insight might help me get things in perspective. And I need that so I can stop letting this bother me and continue to focus on myself.

I think she knows she is in no condition to meet her kids and that is possible why she hasn't contacted them. But I think it sucks she didn't even call them on X-mas or New Years Eve.

[Confused?]

You answered your own question. You were married. PwBPD are all about image. Posting on Facebook about some guy just months after leaving a marriage isn't exactly a good image. Throw in drug use by both parties. You say even your friend didn't know you guys were separated.

Normally the BPD exes that blow up Facebook with the new fling tend to:

1. Block the exes and friends and family of the exes

2. Smear the ex to whoever will believe them so they don't look like the bad guy.

They have to make sure they get their "story" straight before revealing the new guy.

[focus]

Well, she has been with the replacement for almost 8 months so the "new guy" isn't really new now, is he? 

I have read about their tendencies to block their exes.

In my case, I blocked her, then in fact I closed my account.

The guy I met is a friend of hers, or mutual friend of sort, but I met him through her.

So she wouldn't block him. And he only found out about this once he came to visit and saw someone else there, and not me.

[shatra]

focus wrote

The replacement is a junkie, drug addicted looser with nothing he has done with his life. He is 8 years younger than she is.

She relapsed, started doing drugs with this looser and replaced me for him.

She has been in no contact with her kids since the replacement.

-----They often choose a replacement who is of a lower status----someone the BPD doesn't have to worry as much will abandon them, and someon who matches their lower self-esteem

-----Did you just happen to run into the ex's friend?  Did your ex send him to you?  He will probably tell her he saw you?

----You have "read about them blocking the ex"   is that due to splitting? What was the reason you blocked her?

[focus]

Hi shatra.

I ran into her friend, she could not have sent him to me.

He didn't ask any weird questions and we didn't talk for long.

As for the reason I blocked her.

To be totally honest, I think it was done at first to punish her, and try to reclaim back some power because I felt overwhelmed and powerless.

I blocked her because she was still meeting this looser after I caught them in bed.

Well, after I caught them in bed I went to a friends house to cool down and get my head straight. I didn't want to make a life changing decision in the emotional state I was in, due to the fact there were children involved and people in bad state tend to make bad decisions.

The guy moved in the day I went out to cool down, and at that time I didn't know.

When I found they were still seeing each other I gor really upset and angry. She claimed they were just friends and me being a complete idiot belived her but addressed my feelings about it and told her I found it unaccaptable.

Shortly after I blocked her.

She called about a week later.

We talked for ten minutes, she convinsed me they were just friends and that she wanted to work on our issues and wanted to take me to her therapist. I told her I wasn't ready and I was angry they were still hanging out.

I see them a few days later by accedent in a car in a parking lot kissing. I walked to them, opened the car and punched the guy in the face and walked away.

A week later she calls my from a new number and tells me that a divorce is going to happen and me and het are officially over and she then threatened to have me beat up by thugs.

Well, I decided that would be the last time she would talk to me and the time I punched the guy would be the last time she would see me.

There have been countless attempts by her to call me and text me but I haven't answered.

I disconnected with her friends.

I know she's "sorry" for the threat but other than that I don't know what she wants and in fact I don't care anymore.