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BPDFamily.com
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Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship
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An Image
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Topic: An Image (Read 521 times)
Crazytoo
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 59
An Image
«
on:
January 09, 2016, 12:10:07 PM »
Imagine somebody you love very much, who told you they love you very much,
completely wraps you in plastic wrap several times.
Then they toss you into the water.
You try to do your best to breathe and swim, but it seems pointless.
Then you hear their voice laughing at you, telling you what a bad swimmer you are.
Yet, you still forgive them because nothing was done in bad faith or with the intention to harm,
and because you love them.
The only thing that gives you strength and a tiny will to survive in this hell
is the last bit of sanity you somehow managed to keep, telling you,
you did your very best, all the time.
Anybody ever feel like this?
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Itstopsnow
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 324
Re: An Image
«
Reply #1 on:
January 09, 2016, 12:22:12 PM »
I think it helped me very much at the end when things all came to a head and I realized how truly sick he was. And finding out he was serial cheating on me and while he was a priest makes me see that he was the problem! These are exclusively his issues. All the times I was made to feel I was the cause for us fighting, I had the bad temper or always looked at things negatively. Everything he said was either a projection, distortion or a flat out lie. He stood for none of the morals he proclaimed to have. When I get sad at the loss I am feeling I have to remind myself I didn't cause any of this and the guy I am missing was a broken illusion. Who they are at the end is their truest self. Not that they don't posses good qualities and fun qualities at times but this at the end is the closest to their true core nature and feelings.
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EaglesJuju
Retired Staff
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Parent
Posts: 1653
Re: An Image
«
Reply #2 on:
January 09, 2016, 12:41:19 PM »
Quote from: Crazytoo on January 09, 2016, 12:10:07 PM
Imagine somebody you love very much, who told you they love you very much,
completely wraps you in plastic wrap several times.
Then they toss you into the water.
You try to do your best to breathe and swim, but it seems pointless.
Then you hear their voice laughing at you, telling you what a bad swimmer you are.
Yet, you still forgive them because nothing was done in bad faith or with the intention to harm,
and because you love them.
The only thing that gives you strength and a tiny will to survive in this hell
is the last bit of sanity you somehow managed to keep, telling you,
you did your very best, all the time.
Anybody ever feel like this?
I have felt like this. It is very bittersweet and heartbreaking when you both love each other, but a disorder affects everything. You feel helpless watching someone you love sabotaging everything in their life, including your relationship. You wish you could do more for them or rid them of the disorder, although you cannot. You feel angry that the disorder was inflicted on them in the first place. In the midst of all of that, you know that you did everything you possibly could. Is this how you feel?
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"In order to take control of our lives and accomplish something of lasting value, sooner or later we need to Believe. We simply need to believe in the power that is within us, and use it." -Benjamin Hoff
Crazytoo
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 59
Re: An Image
«
Reply #3 on:
January 09, 2016, 01:15:27 PM »
That's exactly how I feel. Having written this down feels so good.
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EaglesJuju
Retired Staff
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Parent
Posts: 1653
Re: An Image
«
Reply #4 on:
January 09, 2016, 02:32:37 PM »
Quote from: Crazytoo on January 09, 2016, 01:15:27 PM
That's exactly how I feel. Having written this down feels so good.
I think it is moving and a fantastic way to express your feelings.
Does writing it down give you a different perspective of your relationship?
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"In order to take control of our lives and accomplish something of lasting value, sooner or later we need to Believe. We simply need to believe in the power that is within us, and use it." -Benjamin Hoff
snappybrowneyes
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 505
Re: An Image
«
Reply #5 on:
January 10, 2016, 04:09:19 AM »
Quote from: Crazytoo on January 09, 2016, 12:10:07 PM
Imagine somebody you love very much, who told you they love you very much,
completely wraps you in plastic wrap several times.
Then they toss you into the water.
You try to do your best to breathe and swim, but it seems pointless.
Then you hear their voice laughing at you, telling you what a bad swimmer you are.
Yet, you still forgive them because nothing was done in bad faith or with the intention to harm,
and because you love them.
The only thing that gives you strength and a tiny will to survive in this hell
is the last bit of sanity you somehow managed to keep, telling you,
you did your very best, all the time.
Anybody ever feel like this?
Loving a broken person is not a bad quality to have but it takes serious strength to not lose ourselves in the process. It can be extremely overwhelming when we do not know or understand BPD. Some people choose to stay with the broken souls and love unconditionally, some help them to recovery, and some choose to leave because they cannot live that way. In the end it is really about us, the nons, and what we are willing to accept or not. It is not fair to punish a broken person for being broken when we can walk away. They can only walk away from BPD through serious thought process changes. In the end the choice that is best for you is the right choice.
We need to love ourselves as much as we love others, then we will accept nothing less than we deserve.
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As the legend goes, when the Pheonix resurrects from the flames, she is even more beautiful than before. Danielle LaPorte
And God help you if you are a Pheonix, and you dare rise up from the ash. A thousand eyes will smolder with jealousy while you are just flying past. Ani DeFranco
Crazytoo
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 59
Re: An Image
«
Reply #6 on:
January 10, 2016, 04:35:22 AM »
I love her so much, even if I can't be with her as a partner now. I just love her unconditionally. Thanks for the reminder.
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