Unblocked. I know I shouldn't care.

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

So my BPD/APD exgirlfriend; who started the horrible dumping process right before Christmas, then totally dropped the bomb on me Christmas Eve; then blocked me on her phone (as in phone rings once; texts don't show delivered); has now "unblocked me".

After the who showdown; I realized she had blocked me completely. I went no-contact shortly after. About 8 days (I know I'm weak ). Then I texted her, and it went through as delivered. Called; it rang 5 times to voicemail.

I've tried a few times since then; no response.

I guess I already know the answer to my question:  She wants to know; to make sure; that I am still pining over her. She needs to know I still need her. This very reason; is why she unblocked me. Because if she really wanted nothing to do with me; she would have just blocked me and moved on. Unblocking was a conscious and active decision on her part- to allow communication through. And now she is actively ignoring; not responding; likely feeding off any attention; texts, calls, etc; that I send.

I know I should just go no-contact and stick with it; and I'm trying. I am tired of trying to talk to friends about this; it gets old. I guess I just want opinions; is my thinking correct?

I mean; we dated for 5 years; she dumps me; blocks me; then unblocks me; but doesnt respond. She doesnt care for my feelings; or if I am hurting. She simply wants to know I am an option. A source of supply.

Thoughts; appreciated; many thanks friends.

[GoingBack2OC]

So my BPD/APD exgirlfriend; who started the horrible dumping process right before Christmas, then totally dropped the bomb on me Christmas Eve; then blocked me on her phone (as in phone rings once; texts don't show delivered); has now "unblocked me".

After the who showdown; I realized she had blocked me completely. I went no-contact shortly after. About 8 days (I know I'm weak ). Then I texted her, and it went through as delivered. Called; it rang 5 times to voicemail.

I've tried a few times since then; no response.

I guess I already know the answer to my question:  She wants to know; to make sure; that I am still pining over her. She needs to know I still need her. This very reason; is why she unblocked me. Because if she really wanted nothing to do with me; she would have just blocked me and moved on. Unblocking was a conscious and active decision on her part- to allow communication through. And now she is actively ignoring; not responding; likely feeding off any attention; texts, calls, etc; that I send.

I know I should just go no-contact and stick with it; and I'm trying. I am tired of trying to talk to friends about this; it gets old. I guess I just want opinions; is my thinking correct?

I mean; we dated for 5 years; she dumps me; blocks me; then unblocks me; but doesnt respond. She doesnt care for my feelings; or if I am hurting. She simply wants to know I am an option. A source of supply.

Thoughts; appreciated; many thanks friends.

[NCEA]

I had my phone stolen two months ago.

The first thing I thought about when it happened was - "she'll think I blocked her on whatsapp.

I lost my SIM card / number and had to create a new whatsapp account and cancel the old one. It was removed after 30 days, what looks like the number has "vanished" from your contact list. I know because I've added that old number on my new account, and after 30 days it simply vanished.

So she probably thinks (if she ever checks) that I've deleted her or blocked her. I unfriended her as soon as we broke up. So... .She probably thinks I never want to hear from her, which is of course only partly true.

[Herodias]

Hard to tell... , one of my exes harem unblocked me on Facebook. I've been so curious what there relationship was. She asked if I was his ex wife back in May... .He said she is his stalker! She did try and friend me on fb and she friended his uncle! Weird. She claimed she was pregnant and was sending him Father's Day cards. Hmmm... He could have picked a crazy one, not sure. I would love to know, but maybe she is crazy?

[Fr4nz]

Just reporting my experience... .after 3 weeks into NC she unblocked me in whatsapp; anyway, after that nothing happened, not a peep from her (and from me as well).

Now I'm almost at 11 months NC.

So, the conclusion is that they may open again a line of communication, but don't expect they'll do the first step to reconnect.

[Inharmsway]

Hi GoingBack2OC,

It's very difficult to predict what is going through her mind and why she's being so nonchalant about your attempts to make contact. Your suspicions may as well be true that she's getting a kick out of this. Knowing that you're still pining on her and you'll definitely make a nice fallback option should whatever is keeping her occupied fall through.

I noticed this pattern with my ex which lead me to detaching and going Low Contact the first time round before the final breakup. My messages were ignored but I could see they were read. Only 3 months later he started to be all charming and came back with the most weirdest excuse about how crazy work and personal life was. Stupid me and to my detriment, I jumped back onto the roller-coaster. Only 18 months or so ago I finally decided to let go and never make contact. Didn't block him on any platform, I just made a final resolution to jump off the nauseating roller-coaster, said my goodbyes and went quiet. I'm celebrating almost 2 years of No Contact.


NCEA:

Not sure if i understood you correctly, assuming that you'd gotten a brand new number after your phone got stolen. She may have not necessarily blocked you. Whatsapp added privacy features where one can decide what is shared with (Non/)contacts. This is also on the assumption that she still has the same number you have on your phone. She might have just revised what's visible to her contacts/non-contacts and you are affected because she wouldn't have your new replacement number in her contact list.

[Learning_curve74]

Let me turn things around and ask you why does it matter whether she has you blocked or not? Are you hoping for a reconciliation? Are you interested in trying to get back together?