Time to move on

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

I've had a few texting exchanges with uBPDex-gf and one telephone conversation.  Mostly her side is asking for reconciliation and my side reminding her about the repeated second chances and how they turned out and the string of lies she was totally caught in after the very final final final last chance.  I get the sense she sees that I am serious about break up where before she hoped I was just angry and would get over it in a week.

The skill I need is to make sure I do not cave in to her again.  I am fairly certain she was telling the truth about sleeping in a shed without heat for several nights, but I also know she is so good at lying that I need to be suspicious.  As the each day passes, it gets better.  I know I didn't cause her condition and I can't cure it.  She doesn't think I am being fair for breaking up a couple weeks ago over the multiple lies she committed just hours after I granted her that final final final chance.  She says I am not being fair, but at least I have a whole list of rock solid examples of her lies and I don't have to say the break up is over an undiagnosed mental illness. 

I'm taking this one day at a time.  I am detaching.  I can do this.

[Knight]

I've had a few texting exchanges with uBPDex-gf and one telephone conversation.  Mostly her side is asking for reconciliation and my side reminding her about the repeated second chances and how they turned out and the string of lies she was totally caught in after the very final final final last chance.  I get the sense she sees that I am serious about break up where before she hoped I was just angry and would get over it in a week.

The skill I need is to make sure I do not cave in to her again.  I am fairly certain she was telling the truth about sleeping in a shed without heat for several nights, but I also know she is so good at lying that I need to be suspicious.  As the each day passes, it gets better.  I know I didn't cause her condition and I can't cure it.  She doesn't think I am being fair for breaking up a couple weeks ago over the multiple lies she committed just hours after I granted her that final final final chance.  She says I am not being fair, but at least I have a whole list of rock solid examples of her lies and I don't have to say the break up is over an undiagnosed mental illness. 

I'm taking this one day at a time.  I am detaching.  I can do this.

[JQ]

Knight,

I can tell this is very difficult for you to do ... .it was for all of us and you're not alone in how you feel. You made the statement that you are detaching ... .it's time for you to do the thing with your phone number ... .IMHO.  There are but a couple of threads left and if YOU are serious about it then you need to change your number and take another step forward in your recovery, healing and a happier life.

Today is Friday ... .it's the weekend ... .perhaps a 3 day weekend if you get MLK day off on Monday. Get out and enjoy the weekend! Go out and see a "guy action movie" like 13 hours. Go out and get that burger and beer or a salad and a glass of water.  Get together with a friends this weekend and watch the football playoffs if you in the states ... .even if you don't have a team in the fight ... .do it for the fun ... .the friendship ... .do it!

You're doing good ... .got a good start on things! Stay strong!

JQ