It's been awhile...

[crazedncrazymom]

Hi everyone,

Here I am again and still in the middle of BPD hell.  Last time I posted, my dd had been doing so well and I truly thought we were out of the woods.  She turned 18 on April 12 and moved out on April 14.  Amazingly enough she still went to school and graduated (as far as I know anyway).  She did not attend the graduation ceremony (or she did and just didn't invite me). Right after graduation she moved back to PA for a couple of months.  We decided to stop talking for awhile. 


After  a couple of months I contacted her and found that she had just been released from a psych hospital.  She said it was because of anxiety, but later I found out that she was still suicidal. I don't know if there was an attempt or not at that time.  She asked if she could move back home. She came home in late August and attempted suicide in early September.  Her behavior has been typical BPD.  Lying, sneaking, using drugs (pot and cold medicine that I know of for sure) and drinking... .you all know the drill.

She is currently going to a community college and has a job.  Yesterday we found out she overdosed again.  Apparently she took over 100 aspirin.  Isn't that odd?  During all of her attempts, she's tried amitriptyline (extremely deadly)  a combination of a lot of different pills, a few other tries that to be honest I don't remember the combination, but all are very bad.  The last one in September was oh gosh I can't think of the name of it, but her levels were toxic and she was kept in the cardiac unit for 3 days. and then... .she downgrades to aspirin?   Don't get me wrong, I know aspirin is deadly, but I would think she would try something different if she really wanted to die.  This is OD #7 or 8.

Anyway at this point we are just exhausted and done with the whole thing.  The sad thing is that I haven't gone to the hospital to talk to her and don't plan to.  I called the hospital for an update yesterday to make sure she was ok, but since she's 18, they wouldn't realease any info.  However, the nurse said she would be in the ER overnight and then have a psych eval,so I assume she is ok. 

My husband lost his job at the end of the year.  I have a job working in a call center for a cable company so people call me to yell at me all day long ( BTW, the same skills we have all learned here work wonderfully on irate customers!)  We are under a tremendous amount of stress without any of her nonsense added in the mix. 

Anyway, obviously she has no desire to keep herself safe or to behave rationally or be trusted. My biggest concern with her is drinking and driving.  I don't know that she's done it, but wouldn't be surprised if she has.  Any recommendations or ideas on what to do next would absolutely be appreciated!

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[infiniteeyes]

Hi there crazedndcrazymom

I like your username It could be mine   

I dont really have any advice to offer you other than you know you have been here before and you got through it and you will get throught it again. For now your DD is safe at least while she is in hospital so try to look after yourself. I imagine you are out of your mind worried and stressed  :'(

I suppose the big difference now is that your DD is 18 so you will only get the details your DD gives you apart from the nurse telling you about the over night stay and psych eval, that is good. That nurse must be a mum herself!

My DD is 16 and currently in residential since start of Nov. She has just been caught with drugs and will more than likely be charged. Its heartbreaking and its a horrible feeling of helplessness. We also dont get along as the slightest slight to her ego and she will dispose of me.

If she drinks and drives hopefully she will get caught and lose her licence. Other than that it is completely out of your control. Natural consequences. Sorry I couldnt be of more help.