Phone call today and I have been deleted...update

[Herodias]

He called me this morning to tell me he had a paper for me for tax purposes.I told him to send it to me.  He actually asked me how I am doing for once. He told me he had a dream about me and we were happy and having a good time like we used to. (I actually had one about him that was weird!) He acted like he was trying to be positive about his loss of his job position. He said he didn't like it anyway and he now can look for something he wants to do, after he can get me off of his health insurance (it's my fault he can't get a new job). He told me he did not know where they were sending him next... .oddly enough, the gf just posted they are moving to a town closer to where he told me he was going to work originally. Suddenly now he does;t know where he is moving to. He really likes to mix it up and keep me confused! I wonder why she is willing to move so far away from her job? These people don't make any sense to me! They have no money at all and they are moving, having baby and  acting like all is wonderful in the world! Fake book- I know! I guess you have to pretend it's all great so you don't get too depressed.  He doesn't even realize how much he is going to have to pay for the divorce and that he can't get divorced for 3 more months! I wonder how she will feel about that?  He acted all nice to me today for some reason... .Then a little bit ago I saw on Facebook he posted a picture of the two of them that is the picture she had posted last May and how I found out about them! He has  now deleted all of the pictures of us! No more pictures of the two of us... .I guess he is done looking at those! He acts like he is so sad that we are getting divorced... .I don't get any of this! I really don't. He talked to me telling me things I knew a year ago like he doesn't know anything new about his own family. Maybe they don't talk to him much... .He told me he is rethinking that vasectomy! I said that would be a good idea, since she can get pregnant immediately after she has that baby. He won't do it - he has said he was going to have one 3 times now. He acted like he likes the same things as me now... .when in the past he said he didn't. It was a strange conversation. He may have been calling just to find out how the lawyer was handling things... .I put an e-mail in to her. Still haven't heard from her(the lawyer). I was once again sad and crying and now once again confused and angry... .I wish I didn't even care. I thought about how much he lied to me in the past. He would tell me we were moving out of state and I would get all excited. If I were like her, I would post we were moving on Facebook  and then later find out the truth that we were not! So, it makes me wonder if he does the same to her! I know, you are asking why and I concerned. I guess I am still trying to understand if he is the same as he was with me  with her or if he has suddenly changed : (... .so dumb.  I just think he is lying to her as well. Has to be... .My sister thinks he is just calling me because he is unhappy... .and wants to make me unhappy by playing his games with me yet again. I acted like all is wonderful in my world. I feel like I am turning into him sometimes... .thanks for letting me vent. I know you are going to tell me to quit looking and move on and quit analyzing everything and worrying about them... I know, I know... .you just can't help how you feel sometimes.

[JaneStorm]

   

I think we need to have these feelings. We processing the loss. Give it only certain amounts of time per day, then try to do something special for yourSelf, and stay busy the other times.

[thefixermom]

It's okay to allow him to think all is well in your life. That does not at all make you similar to him. What it does is protect you from him thinking he's getting his hooks into you. I know it's hard.  I like seeing you remind yourself of what was wrong in the relationship so you can feel some gratitude grow alongside the hurt that is unweaving itself from your life.  Gratitude that you are no longer in the same boat with him.  Sometimes I think people like this are just put into our lives because we have a big lesson to learn. And when we learn it and get out, they find another person who needs to learn the same lesson.  I believe you will be okay.  Just takes time and work, which you are doing.

[Herodias]

Thanks... .I have to go back to not talking to him... .He has just told me a whole bunch of lies again. I believe to gaslight me. So many lies that don't make any sense and aren't even necessary. Makes me remember how I was living. He and the gf are total drama queens. I thought I liked drama, but this all makes me tired! He has to be lying to her as well... .has to be! My friend asked how the gf  would feel if she knew he was calling me, telling me about how he was dreaming about me and thinking of me all the time, so happy we have had a nice conversation. Although he said life was better for us financially - he is still convinced that we didn't get along- not due to his behavior mind you! My lawyer contacted me and he will be getting the letter from her soon. I am sure I am about to go from being painted white to black. It's going to get ugly. I just have to remind him that this is what he wants. In his world, I am going to be his friend and feel sorry for him and help him out financially. That's not the real world... .