Object Constancy question?

[unicorn2014]

Why do you think you chose someone with BPD as a life partner?

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[Lou12]

Oh I'd say it defiantly has something do to with my need to rescue people. I have huge empathy for people who are societies vulnerable and misunderstood. And I genuinely believe in karma so I feel theirs an element of being grateful for how fortunate I am and giving back to society, unfortunately this becomes unhealthy for me when I put others needs and emotions before my own. This I am trying to work on... not being able to save a person is a concept that I am trying to learn to accept. I need to work on my own value as a person and not getting my self esteem through saving others

[waverider]

Oh I'd say it defiantly has something do to with my need to rescue people. I have huge empathy for people who are societies vulnerable and misunderstood. And I genuinely believe in karma so I feel theirs an element of being grateful for how fortunate I am and giving back to society, unfortunately this becomes unhealthy for me when I put others needs and emotions before my own. This I am trying to work on... not being able to save a person is a concept that I am trying to learn to accept. I need to work on my own value as a person and not getting my self esteem through saving others

Where his issues obvious to you when you met that triggered this rescuing mindset?

For many the "issues" are hidden when they first met, a little odd/eccentric/over the top maybe. In fact the pwBPD can often play the part of rescuer as they over validate and mirror us. It is not until the smoke of that persona blows away that real problems start to show leaving total confusing as to what is going on.

[unicorn2014]

Oh I'd say it defiantly has something do to with my need to rescue people. I have huge empathy for people who are societies vulnerable and misunderstood. And I genuinely believe in karma so I feel theirs an element of being grateful for how fortunate I am and giving back to society, unfortunately this becomes unhealthy for me when I put others needs and emotions before my own. This I am trying to work on... not being able to save a person is a concept that I am trying to learn to accept. I need to work on my own value as a person and not getting my self esteem through saving others

Have you read anything about the drama triangle?

Also have you heard of ACA?