RE: Get BPD mom put in mental hospital

[ijustwantpeace]

Is there any way to get my BPD mom put in a mental hospital?  I'd feel much safer knowing that she is in a place getting treatment and not able to hurt anyone.

[Kwamina]

Hi ijustwantpeace

Based on your post it becomes clear you strongly believe your mother is currently a threat to your safety and that of others. What behaviors of your mother make you feel so unsafe and concerned about how she might hurt you or others?

Has your mother ever expressed having any insights into her behavior, in the sense that she acknowledges that there might be something wrong with the way she treats people? Has she ever expressed being open to getting help/therapy?

[ijustwantpeace]

Hi ijustwantpeace

Based on your post it becomes clear you strongly believe your mother is currently a threat to your safety and that of others. What behaviors of your mother make you feel so unsafe and concerned about how she might hurt you or others?

Has your mother ever expressed having any insights into her behavior, in the sense that she acknowledges that there might be something wrong with the way she treats people? Has she ever expressed being open to getting help/therapy?

I don't think she is a physical threat so much as an emotional threat.  She is not aware of her behavior and is not willing to seek help.  I do feel unsafe knowing that she is able to cause major crisis at will.  I am not talking to her right now, but both her any my crazy uncle also uPPD showed up at my door and got me so upset it felt like I was having a heart attack.

They don't care for my well being at all.  If I die they would just go find someone else to abuse.  I have a nephew and nice and I want them to have a happier life than me, one that does not involve this type of drama.  My brother does not know how to set boundaries and is probably depleted from all the divorce, and health issues in his own life.

The kids have been through a crazy divorce, break up of 2nd girlfriend, and now working on the 3rd girlfriend in a couple years.  My mom finds opportunities to insert herself back into everyone's lives and plant seeds.

Seeds are her favorite tool.  Get everyone fighting and beak up relationships.  This has taken a tool on my body, and am seeing the doctor for severe chest pains.

I want to help my niece and nephew, but don't want to die from a stress induced heart attack either.  If she was safely locked up she could not destroy anyone's lives

[Kwamina]

I definitely understand your concerns for your niece and nephew. Your desire for wanting to help them is admirable. To be able to consistently help others it is crucial that we first also take good care of ourselves. You are dealing with some health scares right now and for that reason it might be best to focus on that right now. Perhaps things such as mindfulness and meditation can (also) help you with what seems to be extreme anxiety (attacks) you are dealing with. Have you ever tried these things?

You mention your brother not knowing how to set boundaries. When dealing with disordered family-members, firm boundaries are indeed very important to protect yourself. You cannot control what your mother does, but you can control your own behavior. Do you feel you are properly able to set and defend/enforce boundaries with your mother and your uncle?

[ijustwantpeace]

Kwamina.

You are right I got to take care of myself right now.  No choice in that really.  It is not just axiety as zanex does nothing to help with the chest pains, but asprin does.

The LPN said that it could also be magnesium deficiecny.  Magnesium helps regulate heart function.  Calcium cause the heart to contract and magnesium causes it to relax.  Appointment number 3 on Monday.

If they don't get me a referral I will check myself into a hospital.  I can't live like this.

Mom does not respect anything I ask her.  The uncle is not any better they are grown ups and expect us kids to make them happy.  It is a real drain.  If we don't go along with what they want they act out and cause trouble.

I have been googling meditation and relaxation, but have not found any solid technique that works consistently.

[sheishei]

I see that possibility of your mom going into a mental hospital very complicated, they are so great at manipulation, i´m dealing with something similar as you are now, with my own little sister, and i know how hard it is seeing someone that had no clue of what´s about to come for them and how much it can damage them, their words are like water and electricity, deadly !

My stepfather had once to call the police because my mother was out of control, she kept screaming that she was going to kill his family members, the ones she hates, finally when the police arrived she " agreed " to go with them , only because she knew that if she did so, they couldn´t keep her at the hospital, and when she got to the psychiatrist, she was only diagnosed with stress, yeb ! it´s incredible, the same day she was back home and i was terrified to stay with her alone and both my stepfather and her acted like that was no biggie. Until today he´s in denial about her real problem, he thinks she´s " depress " good luck with that. I´m still working on myself, and i felt like you , very close to a heart attack , no kidding, and the only thing that keep me from not changing all my emails is that i can´t forget about my sister, i feel like i´m leaving her alone in the fire.

But listen to the good advises, deep inside of me i know there´s nothing else i can do, sadly but it´s the truth.

[puppyface]

Is there any way to get my BPD mom put in a mental hospital?  I'd feel much safer knowing that she is in a place getting treatment and not able to hurt anyone.

I don't think they do that anymore. get someone "put in a mental hospital." it's confinment against their wishes. but, there is jail! or if she threatens suicide - you can get 48 hours.

sorry, I know it sucks. take care of yourself. set boundries. maybe you can get her on trespassing?

PF

[busybee1116]

Is there any way to get my BPD mom put in a mental hospital?  I'd feel much safer knowing that she is in a place getting treatment and not able to hurt anyone.

Not sure where you live, but if in the US, she has to be "gravely disabled" and either a threat to herself (such as suicidal) or threat to others (homicidal--threatening bodily harm to you and capable of doing it). And even then, it's a limited stay. Think about  Brittney Spears--even when she was at her head-shaving, umbrella swinging, erratic driving worst, she was only hospitalized for 2 days (and rehospitalized later).