Living in a box

[AlexAid]

Married 20 years to someone with BPD and/or NPD. Raised by a BPD mother. Trapped.

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[EmotionalWarfare]

It makes sense that you would choose to marry a person with BPD/NPD.  It's what you know and your subconscious brought you to that. We all empathize.

Welcome,

Is there something specific you'd like to talk about?

[Sunfl0wer]

Just wanted to join in and say welcome!

I also was raised by a uBPDmom and dated a guy with traits of NPD/BPD.  It is confusing stuff to sort through, this site has been invaluable to me!

~Sunflower

[AlexAid]

Thank you for the welcome.

I have become a mess.

I feel completely stripped of any identity

I feel completely stripped of my masculinity

I am in the process of losing my job because of her

I have become unable to make any decisions about anything

I am raising three teens by myself now during a non-separation separation - I managed to keep her from doing any more harm to them and they need help

She gambled away all of our savings

I have no friends, no joy, no hope.

Yes, I'm getting counselling.

It feels weird to actually share this

[Lifewriter16]

 Hi AlexAid,



You've taken a courageous first step in posting. You are describing a lot of loss. You aren't alone in feeling as you do, others here have been through similar experiences and found support here.

Sending you a hug to let you know that you are not alone. Keep posting.

Lifewriter

[Sunfl0wer]

I am sorry that things are so difficult right now.  It feels so confusing to try to make sense out of things when surrounded by things that don't make sense.  It can be terrifying to have to deal with the effects of these relationships.

This is a good place.

Please keep posting! 

Don't be too shy to be specific and share specific issues you are facing for feedback and support.