Hi S0TEK,
Can someone tell me if there is a good site for a BPD person to go that may help them? My wife told me of this site saying it may help me I know she has been on it and tell me all the horror stories of couples not working out. So I am wanting someplace for her to go that she may find more helpful. I would be greatful for any suggestions.
this site here is not a good place for a pwBPD as a lot what is discussed is triggering to pwBPD. Places with lots of pwBPD alone tend to be very difficult to manage as pwBPD tend to invalidate and thus trigger others frequently and at the same time are highly susceptible to being triggered. Groups of pwBPD when happening tend to be smaller and are run professionally (trained T) in the framework of DBT therapy. Even there therapy may start individually and only then graduate to group.
Your wife is diagnosed and the place to go is individual therapy. She is probably afraid to do so. You working here on the board learning more how to best communicate can make a difference. Learn about validation and SET. Practice on smaller more harmless stuff and get feedback here. Ultimately it is her decision but you can help her seeing the facts in a calmer mood.
Your wife got her diagnose from different sides. She won't be able to therapy herself and you won't be able to do it either - plenty on your plate already. Generally both sides need to work their sides. But communication skills is an area where some cooperation and coordination may be possible. Have you taken a look at "
The high conflict couple"? Validation is part of DBT and getting better with that has not been detrimental to anyone.
,
a0
