Not to triangulate as her rescuer, but the living situation may be a hard adjustment for her. She sounds like a Waif in need of rescue. What is her history, has she exhibited odd behaviors in the past, back before you met her son?
It sounds like a stressful situation for you all. Have you tried finding a validation target with her? Validate the valid, invalidate the invalid.
Yes... .She has exhibiting odd behaviors, ways of being, dressing (well if u consider a women wearing mens clothes mostly even mens underwear etc), etc. and this started way before I met her son and at least the last 30-45 years. She has had over 8 yrs of living in this place (1 bedroom apartment) and things being how they are. So this living situation is nothing new for her and she has always had the bedroom while my bf goes without a room of his own. Ya she does sound like a Waif but I've read the Lawson book and she sounds like all the other types too. We have tried validating that which can be validated and refraining from validating the invalid. She is so severely BPD (possibly bipolar and 3 other pd's, diabetic, etc) she gets worse with each passing month and yr. It is def. a stressful situation indeed. Its hard to watch and hear about her mentally emotionally verbally abusing towards her son (& go threw what she throws at me and how she treats me too). Not to mention all other stuff mentioned in my other posts here on the forum.
(p.s. getting forum error msgs and not being to get forum to post... .so if this reply post more than once sorry plz delete duplicates)