I'm so glad I found this site where I can find info on BPD and strategies (even if I can't always see how I could use them in my situation) and can share thoughts and emotions and ideas with people that understand because they have been there too.
It's difficult sometimes locked in my apartment without the option to go outside (my health is improving so I'm hoping to be able to walk again enough to go outside for a bit soon).
I speak to my T on the phone every week for about half an hour but I'm not sure we click and she gets who I am or what a relationship with a pwBPD does to someone.
My friends have difficulty with the situation ("he's just a bad person, you're sweet. Move on" "you're still talking and thinking about him so you're still investing in him. Just stop it" and mostly ignore me (ouch... old wound... ) when I talk about him, the situation or how it effects me.
The 3 colleagues 'on my side', I don't really want to discuss it a lot with them. I don't want to lose them too, they don't really get the impact either, and think of him as a weak person but essentially good with a sick bit. Instead of a completely disordered person. Also, they need to work with all the minions too and might very well bump into my ex at the pub everybody goes to and I do not want to make them feel uncomfortable or as if they have to choose; we're adults and not in high school. Although all of the minions behave like we are
So I'm REALLY happy I can get things of my chest here! It feels safe and the input helps a lot in keeping things in perspective, in getting to the bottom of my wounds and generally speaking keeping me sane
Or getting away from insane
So: THANK YOU ALL!
