Haven't seen my son

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

Soo... .

I am on the 14th day of not seeing my son, due to an DV injunction(false) placed on my by my uBPDw  wife.

I cannot express how hard it is to ... .

1. feel like a criminal, wife abuser to the counsel.

2. accept that my wife would lie on me and tell the court the things she was doing to me.

3. Pass by my wife( pulling out of our condo)and know my son is in that car.

4. Accept that I implemented boundaries that ultimately trigerred her abandonment fears. I was just trying to stop the rages. However, no remorse for doing so. Just wish I could of been better at it. I sucked! With her, there wasn't a proper method, though .

5. feel helpless. I love my wife(she doesn't believe it because I didn't do XYZ in that order).

6. accept I FINALLY got her to therapy and she's got them snowed  that I am the Narcissist abuser.   SHe filed for divorce.

Listen, I was going through text messages the other day and out of 6 days and 1000 texts, I sent 200. All of her texts were mostly devaluing and belittling. My 200 were "leave me alone. not true! stop! I love you, etc."

THAT HAS STOPPED WITH THIS INJUNCTION. THE SIMPLE THINGS!

So, now I sit here missing my son and writing this in tears. I love my wife more that she'll ever know. Is it because I really didn't show her I  love her? NO! IT's because she will never be able to accept my love.

I love her enough to tell  my attorney I don't want to run her through the mud to "prove" she lied about the DV.  I love her enough to forgive her for having me removed from my house and my son for the last 14 days!

Co-dependent? Maybe! But I love her, Not the illness.

I cannot hold hatred or grudges, which is the opposite of this disorder and probably why we've made it almost 9 years.

[Flexion]

Soo... .

I am on the 14th day of not seeing my son, due to an DV injunction(false) placed on my by my uBPDw  wife.

I cannot express how hard it is to ... .

1. feel like a criminal, wife abuser to the counsel.

2. accept that my wife would lie on me and tell the court the things she was doing to me.

3. Pass by my wife( pulling out of our condo)and know my son is in that car.

4. Accept that I implemented boundaries that ultimately trigerred her abandonment fears. I was just trying to stop the rages. However, no remorse for doing so. Just wish I could of been better at it. I sucked! With her, there wasn't a proper method, though .

5. feel helpless. I love my wife(she doesn't believe it because I didn't do XYZ in that order).

6. accept I FINALLY got her to therapy and she's got them snowed  that I am the Narcissist abuser.   SHe filed for divorce.

Listen, I was going through text messages the other day and out of 6 days and 1000 texts, I sent 200. All of her texts were mostly devaluing and belittling. My 200 were "leave me alone. not true! stop! I love you, etc."

THAT HAS STOPPED WITH THIS INJUNCTION. THE SIMPLE THINGS!

So, now I sit here missing my son and writing this in tears. I love my wife more that she'll ever know. Is it because I really didn't show her I  love her? NO! IT's because she will never be able to accept my love.

I love her enough to tell  my attorney I don't want to run her through the mud to "prove" she lied about the DV.  I love her enough to forgive her for having me removed from my house and my son for the last 14 days!

Co-dependent? Maybe! But I love her, Not the illness.

I cannot hold hatred or grudges, which is the opposite of this disorder and probably why we've made it almost 9 years.