In need of help

[L0stboys]

My xBPDgf has family in town this weekend. It's been no contact minus one interaction about belongings since October. I have kept in very well contact with her family since she left. I cannot be sure but I do believe my replacement has been discarded, otherwise I don't believe the family would be in town. Although this may be possible. I have no solid proof of this but to me this makes the most logical sense. My concern is about my increased ruminations since I've found out they're coming. I've scheduled a time to meet with them as I do consider them a big part of my life still. This a choice I made knowing the risks of staying attached. Although she suggested to both me and the family that we should stay in touch, there was never a solid reason why. maybe this is honestly wishful thinking but I feel like I'm preparing myself for some sort of interaction with her. My head and my heart are in constant battle with each other. I will always love her, I can forgive her, but I cannot forget all of the horrible things she did to me while we were together. The affair was behind my back, after a long move, and left me all alone in shambles. As with anyone here I feel like ive made great progress in healing and understanding why I put myself at risk for this type of relationship. Yet, I can't help but think I would, if given the chance, try again. I know this doesn't make logical sense, I need the strength and support to remind myself that this, no matter what, would never work. My love and regards to all of you.

[WoundedBibi]

but I cannot forget all of the horrible things she did to me while we were together.

Yet, I can't help but think I would, if given the chance, try again. I know this doesn't make logical sense, I need the strength and support to remind myself that this, no matter what, would never work.

It would not work: her behaviour has not changed. Change yours.