HELP exBPDgf is telling me I'm the crazy one and making my head spin

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

I contacted her during NC because I'm still attached and felt weak. It's only been a couple of weeks. Things didn't work out for her replacement for whatever reason and I thought I could jump in again for a recycle...

I read her tweet that she isn't over me. Anyway,

This is what she sent me through Skype:



1. I do dress femme just not around the house and not for basic errands

2. Yes, you nagged the **** out of me and it drove me mad

3. It isn’t easy for me

4. Stop speculating about my mental health. I never split, and I still haven’t. You’re the one who splits and predictably it drives me nuts to the point that I do start yelling at you but what the heck do you expect when you play the madwoman to a tee? FYI I always loved you, it was just constantly there in the background, but it was pretty obvious on that what we had was unhealthy and that I should break up with you lest it grow more dysfunctional.

5. Stop bringing up your birthday. The past isn’t a weapon you can dredge up to one up me. I regret it happened but it did and that’s that. And no, forgetting it wasn’t borderline, it was me not giving a **** about how many times you’ve travelled around the sun, because it’s trivial and the only reason anyone cares about it is because we are socialized into thinking birthdays are a big deal when really it is an arbitrary measure of how closer you are to an inevitable death. BTW my birthday was ****

6. I don’t give a **** about your videos. I have PTSD, that’s it atm. I haven’t had symptoms of Borderline for a very long time now. My emotions are stable. So stop implying I’m behaving irrationally due to mental illness.

The date for contacting me was 13th of April. One month since we broke up. And as I can see you are disregarding it like you have always consistently disregarded my boundaries.

It’s disappointing and tbqh I’m frustrated at having two very dysfunctional women being infatuated with me. I don’t want to deal with your splitting ever again, nor can I tolerate *replacement* 24/7 depression/trangst.

If you have any regard for me left, you can leave me in peace until the 13th. Or you can keep doing what you’re doing and I’ll know that you still don’t give a **** about my boundaries and needs

As you can see here. My exBPDgf sounds sane and writes in a way that makes me sound like a true crazy person.

I've already spoken to my psychologist about my own mental health and she does not believe I have BPD but my ex still does despite me telling her no I am not a crazy person.

Has a BPDex ever done this to you? Flip it around on you?

It sounds flawless doesn't it?

I remember a time she told her trick is to use her vocabularly to throw people off and intimidate people.

She is an intelligent woman with a great vocab.

I do not split. We had a push/pull dynamic to our relationship because we are both  not securely attached people however, yes psych said I just have anxiety and mild depression. I am ambivalent attachment if that helps? I push her away at times when I am suspicious or doubtful about something but those are my own issues.

There are plenty of instances she's still shown BPD behaviour. Such as rushing into a new relationship then when it doesn't work out then tweeting on social media asking for another date.

Why did I even bother telling her that her BPD is still there.

When she didn't have a replacement she told me that if we broke up she would deliberately get pregnant and rip out her implanon because nobody loved her and she could just have a child to love heretc. because she was unlovable and she wasn't good enough for me and I made her feel crap and so on. And she doesn't want to be alone!

I just can't believe it!

And I am troubled that her opinion of me still matters.

Has anyone ever doubt their own sanity at times when in contact with their exBPD?

[Curiously1]

I contacted her during NC because I'm still attached and felt weak. It's only been a couple of weeks. Things didn't work out for her replacement for whatever reason and I thought I could jump in again for a recycle...

I read her tweet that she isn't over me. Anyway,

This is what she sent me through Skype:



1. I do dress femme just not around the house and not for basic errands

2. Yes, you nagged the **** out of me and it drove me mad

3. It isn’t easy for me

4. Stop speculating about my mental health. I never split, and I still haven’t. You’re the one who splits and predictably it drives me nuts to the point that I do start yelling at you but what the heck do you expect when you play the madwoman to a tee? FYI I always loved you, it was just constantly there in the background, but it was pretty obvious on that what we had was unhealthy and that I should break up with you lest it grow more dysfunctional.

5. Stop bringing up your birthday. The past isn’t a weapon you can dredge up to one up me. I regret it happened but it did and that’s that. And no, forgetting it wasn’t borderline, it was me not giving a **** about how many times you’ve travelled around the sun, because it’s trivial and the only reason anyone cares about it is because we are socialized into thinking birthdays are a big deal when really it is an arbitrary measure of how closer you are to an inevitable death. BTW my birthday was ****

6. I don’t give a **** about your videos. I have PTSD, that’s it atm. I haven’t had symptoms of Borderline for a very long time now. My emotions are stable. So stop implying I’m behaving irrationally due to mental illness.

The date for contacting me was 13th of April. One month since we broke up. And as I can see you are disregarding it like you have always consistently disregarded my boundaries.

It’s disappointing and tbqh I’m frustrated at having two very dysfunctional women being infatuated with me. I don’t want to deal with your splitting ever again, nor can I tolerate *replacement* 24/7 depression/trangst.

If you have any regard for me left, you can leave me in peace until the 13th. Or you can keep doing what you’re doing and I’ll know that you still don’t give a **** about my boundaries and needs

As you can see here. My exBPDgf sounds sane and writes in a way that makes me sound like a true crazy person.

I've already spoken to my psychologist about my own mental health and she does not believe I have BPD but my ex still does despite me telling her no I am not a crazy person.

Has a BPDex ever done this to you? Flip it around on you?

It sounds flawless doesn't it?

I remember a time she told her trick is to use her vocabularly to throw people off and intimidate people.

She is an intelligent woman with a great vocab.

I do not split. We had a push/pull dynamic to our relationship because we are both  not securely attached people however, yes psych said I just have anxiety and mild depression. I am ambivalent attachment if that helps? I push her away at times when I am suspicious or doubtful about something but those are my own issues.

There are plenty of instances she's still shown BPD behaviour. Such as rushing into a new relationship then when it doesn't work out then tweeting on social media asking for another date.

Why did I even bother telling her that her BPD is still there.

When she didn't have a replacement she told me that if we broke up she would deliberately get pregnant and rip out her implanon because nobody loved her and she could just have a child to love heretc. because she was unlovable and she wasn't good enough for me and I made her feel crap and so on. And she doesn't want to be alone!

I just can't believe it!

And I am troubled that her opinion of me still matters.

Has anyone ever doubt their own sanity at times when in contact with their exBPD?

[once removed]

hi curiously1 

i read this less as "youre the crazy one" and more "please respect my space" plus some obvious defensiveness which is understandably upsetting. regardless of who does or doesnt sound sane, i would take it at face value.

I contacted her during NC because I'm still attached and felt weak. It's only been a couple of weeks.

if you do want a friendship/relationship with this person you might have a look at this article: "No Contact" the Right and the Wrong Way