Hang ups and Blocked Phone numbers?

[Confused108]

Ok so as I had posted a month ago after my ex dumped me outta the blue months later I started to get strange FB messages from fake profiles. Always the same MO. Hi dear and then I would get blocked. The last one. Was the beginning of Feb and the persons name was "Gift Love" and their profile pic said "Heart Injured". Well I have never gotten any of these in all the years I've been on FB until after my ex decided we weren't compatible (lies) and dumps me without warning. So now the messages have stopped once I responded to the fake message on FB by saying hello with my exs name. I am now dealing with hang ups on my cell with blocked numbers. I got one this afternoon as well as one last week. They are also calling my house phone with of course no name/ no number. Anyone else goin thru this? It's been 7 months when my ex decided to end our relationship for bogus reasons. I know these people are mentally ill but come on  you ended this. This is what she wanted. If this is her and I'm 95% sure it is I just don't get it!

[WoundedBibi]

Theoretically it could be anyone, coincidence, blah. But as it only started after you broke up and the calls started after the FB messages stopped > 1 + 1 = 2, it's her.

What about answering all blocked calls with "hello [name of ex]"? Helped with the FB messages...

Don't try to get it.

They are all different, we can speculate about if it was reason a, b, c etc until we see blue in the face, we will 1) never know what HER reason was and 2) if you knew it would make no sense to you whatsoever.

[Confused108]

My friends said the same thing. Answer the phone. My theory is I would not give her the satisfaction of ever hearing my voice again. NC all the way!

[JQ]

Hello Confused,

You've been in these forums for a while now and surely you've read about the erratic behavior from those who suffer from BPD mental illness.  One of those behaviors is the extreme fear of abandonment and they will do things to in attempts to avoid those feelings. Do NOT try to make any logical sense out of her behavior because this exercise is futile.  Nothing has and NOTHING will make sense with a BPD.

My exBPDgf called not long ago, one ring, long enough to register that she called but hung up. It was 7am and I know she was on her way to work. I assumed she "butt dialed" me so I didn't return the phone call. Later that day I received a 2nd phone call, one ring, long enough to register on my missed call log. It was 4 pm, the time she normally leaves work. Again I didn't return the phone call.

I know she is still seeing bf#2 & perhaps others, so this was an attempt to recycle me, let me know she was thinking about me, hey remember me why don't you call me, etc. It was to feed her need once again. During the on again off again relationship we had she would call me and discuss daily issues like the kid, her ex-husband, and at one point I asked her why she was talking to me about such things and not her bf?   I told her it was good to talk to her, here her voice, that I appreciated her confiding in me, but this is something that she should be discussing with bf#2.  I wasn't going to be the one that would listen to the problems causing her issues in her life and then she could go over to bf#2 house and spend the night/weekend, etc. It wasn't fair to me or to him. There was a long silent pause, she apologized and told me I was right and she hung up.

I know it's part of her Cluster B mental illness, they don't like to let go of past partners. If they do it's possible that they have moments of feeling shame, guilt and it's to much for them to deal with so they keep you just out of reach but close enough. If they have something to hold on too ... .like a letter, stuff animal, etc. you're truly never gone in their eyes and might contact you ... .but it really is anybody's guess as to the reason. They confuse even the Ph.d's, clinical physiologist / therapist they see.

There are apps out there that will block all unknown phone calls for your cell, can't help you on your landline. I would suggest the app and at least unplug the landline if it continues to be a problem for you.

Again, don't try to make sense of anything she does ... .take a deep breath ... .and take your next step on your journey.

J

[Confused108]

Your right JQ! Thanks for the response. I know exactly what your saying and I do know they are mentally ill but there are time I just say why? I had sent her flowers before he ended things with a teddy bear . After my ex ended things I asked for the bear back ... .Reason being I felt there was def something wrong with her and didn't want the bear to become some sort of thropy for her. Well she claims she got rid of the bear and gave it to the local Salvation Army. Who knows if she did or didn't.  Anymore calls and I'll just change my #. This ex has caused me nothing but heartache since 14 . There will be no more chances with me ever.

[JQ]

Your right JQ! Thanks for the response. I know exactly what your saying and I do know they are mentally ill but there are time I just say why? I had sent her flowers before he ended things with a teddy bear . After my ex ended things I asked for the bear back ... .Reason being I felt there was def something wrong with her and didn't want the bear to become some sort of thropy for her. Well she claims she got rid of the bear and gave it to the local Salvation Army. Who knows if she did or didn't.  Anymore calls and I'll just change my #. This ex has caused me nothing but heartache since 14 . There will be no more chances with me ever.

Confused,

Whether you realize it or not, YOU just took the first step on your journey of self discovery! Congratulations!  It's going to be scary at times, it's going to be lonely at other times, and you will stumble on your new path. It's ok, if you look over your shoulder, you'll see me, WoundedBibi and others have your back. Walk with confidence that things are getting better and will continue to get better.

If you have moments of weakness, come back here and hold a hand up. someone will reach out and help you up!

J

[Confused108]

Thanks very much! Same goes here as well. I have worked out a lot of my feelings for my ex. She will never have any kind of hold on me again. As sad as it may seem I will never forgive her for what she did and has done to me. I have given her too many chances . My life will go on and with a much healthier person as well!

[sweet tooth]

I was discarded about a month ago. I received one mysterious "no caller ID" phone call and she stalked my LinkedIn between March 13th-19th. Then she went "private," even though I know it was her. Nothing since.

I don't know, man. They're odd ducks.