Meditation with my inner child

[Lifewriter16]

This morning I did some inner child work during meditation:

I am playing with a toy and colouring with my inner 2 year old when I become aware that there is a tiny baby in the room wrapped in a dowdy blanket. I pick up the baby. She is very sallow and dark. I realise that she is dead. (I start crying). I hold her thinking that the love and affection will make her live. I dress her in pretty clothes and put a pretty blanket around her for warmth, but she is still dead. I get more and more upset and panicky. I want to shake her alive. I tell myself I mustn't do that with a baby and I try kissing her whilst I hug her. Nothing is working. (I am still crying).

I pass the baby to Jesus who is standing near me because 'Jesus loves babies'. The baby is still dead. I decide that perhaps she should be buried and try a little casket on her, but that upsets me. I decide upon a moses basket which I dress prettily, placing the baby in it with my favourite baby cuddly toy, a baby book, various other toys and a photograph of my mum and dad. (At this point I start crying in earnest). My parents both seem to be dead to her. I pick her up again and hold her and tell her that I love her. She is still dead. I take the photograph of my parents to Jesus. Perhaps he can bring them to life. He tells me he can't, whilst he comforts me. He tells me that the past can not be changed, that all I can do is accept it.

Lifewriter x