To anyone just starting the battle of understanding BPD

[toddinrochester]

Several months ago I went through a relationship that rattled my inner core and shook all my foundations. I had no idea what was happening to me, nothing added up and I felt hopeless and alone. Much like you might right now.

It gets better.

There is two ways to the light at the end of the tunnel. There is a train (this forum) or there is walking. Personally I enjoy trains and this forum so I came here and read and read and read. I was lovingly corrected at times and encouraged. Take the train. There is more wisdom and advice in this forum than any therapist you can see. The people here understand your pain and frustration and also those little moments of fog where you want to throw it all away.

Do not throw it all away.

I am now in the most amazing and beautiful relationship I have ever been in my life. She is amazing and dating someone with BPD has taught me to appreciate the little things of a spouse. Life gets better. I understand that you do not feel that way now. Just like we all did, but I want you to hang in there and stick it out.

It is all true that there is a gift to the pain you are feeling and it is even more amazing once you are through it. I have never felt so comfortable with someone in my life as I do with her. Heal, be healthy, be happy.

To the moderators of this forum and most of all Skip. I love you all. You do amazing work and I would not be here today if it were not for you.

                          Best wishes,

                                             Todd

[heartandwhole]

That is such a wonderful report, toddinrochester, thank you for sharing with us. It's so important to read success stories  I'm happy that you have found peace and a loving relationship.

heartandwhole

[Thegardiner]

I agree whole heartedly, if it wasn't for this site, I dread to think how many recycles, hurt and further damage I would have inflicted on myself in the past five weeks since detaching. When I am feeling the slightest tendency to regress, I read read, read! I realigns my thinking from my heart to my head and I remind myself constantly, IT WILL NEVER WORK, heal and move on. I am so happy to hear a success story, a real true love is in all of our futures! PS I rarely post as every story I read is me!

[Ithoughtitwasrea]

Love this. Thankyou for sharing

[JerryRG]

Agree 100%, Thank you bpdfamily!

[HarleypsychRN]

I agree whole heartedly, if it wasn't for this site, I dread to think how many recycles, hurt and further damage I would have inflicted on myself in the past five weeks since detaching. When I am feeling the slightest tendency to regress, I read read, read! I realigns my thinking from my heart to my head and I remind myself constantly, IT WILL NEVER WORK, heal and move on. I am so happy to hear a success story, a real true love is in all of our futures! PS I rarely post as every story I read is me!

Likewise, when going through the roughest days (they have passed), I would read, watch YouTube videos and come here for solace, advice and to share. That got me through the roughest times. Now, going to therapy to fix me is essential.

"The calendar changes, they don't" -Unknown

[Feelinstronger]

Thank you for that.  I am so very happy for your new found peace.  I am four months out (NC) of a five year relationship - we recycled 7 times.  We are in our early 50's.  I still (and always will) love my former partner.  Despite his BPD he can be an incredibly kind and generous soul.  So of course the pain is long lasting.  I do hope and pray to someday feel as you do now- renewed and happy. YOur story does give us all hope.  ANd yes, these boards are indeed a blessing.

[toddinrochester]

Guys It gets better. Hang in there and do whatever you need to protect yourself. I changed my phone number blocked on all social media. I had to.

I know it feels like what I am saying is so far away or you might not feel it is possible to feel this way. I felt the same way and someone posted something like I did and it hit me hard and helped. I felt that once I was through this I would do the same.

I thought my life was over and I would never fall in love again. It was not even close to being over and I am in love. It happens. Hang in there! And when you get to where I am. Post something encouraging just like this. People need to be reminded that the work is hard and emotionally draining but it is better on the other side.