Feeling Down Today? Watch "The Martian"

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

So like so many of you all here. Daily life, even the most simple things, can be daunting.

If you have not seen the film: "The Martian", with Matt Damon, do yourself a favor and watch it.

The film deals with a man, left for dead, alone, on Mars. He can lay down and die, or survive.

In many ways, this film metaphorically echos precisely what all of us here struggle with. A disaster, we didnt see coming. The feeling, and the state, of being totally alone (or feeling that way). How every little thing no matter how small- is so much harder now than it ever was or needs to be.

The film, at least I think, will be an inspiration for anyone dealing with the loss of a love of someone with BPD.

Overcoming hopelessness. In the final scene of the film, there is a short monologue by Matt Damon's character. He explains, exactly how do you overcome, survive, and end up thriving again, when you are in the lowest of places, alone, abandoned, scared, no one there to help, against all odds-- what is the secret, to getting back to great.

Give yourself a break today, if you havent seen the film. It's entertaining to begin with, but filled with a lot of the concepts of what we, us, all of us here, must do, to not survive, but one day again, thrive.

Cheers.    

[GoingBack2OC]

So like so many of you all here. Daily life, even the most simple things, can be daunting.

If you have not seen the film: "The Martian", with Matt Damon, do yourself a favor and watch it.

The film deals with a man, left for dead, alone, on Mars. He can lay down and die, or survive.

In many ways, this film metaphorically echos precisely what all of us here struggle with. A disaster, we didnt see coming. The feeling, and the state, of being totally alone (or feeling that way). How every little thing no matter how small- is so much harder now than it ever was or needs to be.

The film, at least I think, will be an inspiration for anyone dealing with the loss of a love of someone with BPD.

Overcoming hopelessness. In the final scene of the film, there is a short monologue by Matt Damon's character. He explains, exactly how do you overcome, survive, and end up thriving again, when you are in the lowest of places, alone, abandoned, scared, no one there to help, against all odds-- what is the secret, to getting back to great.

Give yourself a break today, if you havent seen the film. It's entertaining to begin with, but filled with a lot of the concepts of what we, us, all of us here, must do, to not survive, but one day again, thrive.

Cheers.    

[JerryRG]

I did see it, wonderful movie of courage, I went to see London has Fallen and it did help me get out of my head (addiction / obsessing)

Looking at the big picture, (no pun intended) helped me realize there's a lot going on in this world beside the antics of my exgf and the gapping holes of twisted logic and confusion that I'm left to deal with.

Have a good night GB20c

[GoingBack2OC]

I did see it, wonderful movie of courage, I went to see London has Fallen and it did help me get out of my head (addiction / obsessing)

Looking at the big picture, (no pun intended) helped me realize there's a lot going on in this world beside the antics of my exgf and the gapping holes of twisted logic and confusion that I'm left to deal with.

Have a good night GB20c

I will have to check out London has Fallen. Great movies, stories, I think can provide support to people dealing with hardship, even if they don't know it.

My first major relationship 15 years ago, (I was like 19), ended up in me being cheated on. I was, to say the least crushed.

At the time, I worked at a little hole in the wall video store... .The kind of place where I'd lock up and go get lunch and leave the place closed.

I literally, during that breakup- which crushed me- watched on loop the movie "The Wedding Singer".

In a way, I think it saved me. Because Ricky, the protagonist, gets dumped by the girl he thought was his soulmate. But he was blinded. She was really just a bad person through and through. And over time, he makes himself get out there, and he meets the girl of his dreams, and falls in love-- with a good person.

And the movie rocks regardless. Great 80s flashback film.

I'll check out the one you mentioned.

Cheers!

[HarleypsychRN]

As my ex-BPD said to me many times "I ruin men, once they are with me they never want another woman". I have promised myself:

- I will not die

- I will not quit

- I deserve better

- I don't need a pathological liar in my life

- I will go on

- You have NOT broken me

- I will survive

- I am not sick like you tried to gaslight me to be

- I gave you love... .real love and you rejected it

- Go find another man stupid/needy/foolish to fall for your games

- You are sick and broken

- You will not take me down with you

[flourdust]

I love The Martian. I've watched it multiple times on Blu-Ray.

The lesson I would take away from it is very powerful -- you solve the problem in front of you, and then you solve the next one, and then the next one. One foot in front of the other. One step forward at a time. Until you look up and you have come to a better place.

That's how I'm living now. Not letting myself be overwhelmed. Just solving each problem in order, and moving forward.

[JerryRG]

Heard something useful in AA today.

I need to go from a problem based life to a solution based life.

Another thing I heard was, complaining without offering a solution is whining.


Gosh sometimes I hate reality

[GoingBack2OC]

Heard something useful in AA today.

I need to go from a problem based life to a solution based life.

Another thing I heard was, complaining without offering a solution is whining.


Gosh sometimes I hate reality

Sounds like good advice, although we all love to whine once in a while. When my ex would whine and complain, I'd joke and say would you like some cheese with that? (Wine and Cheese) I know bad joke... .and humor was something she was not fond of at all.

But yea, think of yourself as "The Martian"-- he had no one to complain to. He could either start putting one foot in front of the other, or lay down and die. Its why I feel the movie resonates so much with what I feel and I'm sure many of you do as well - alone. That no one understands.

The truth is, the pain we feel, is honestly trivial (in some ways) to the pain others have endured, and survived, and still led meaningful lives.

People, good people, have lost their loved ones to cancer (people who were good and not destructive).  Holocaust survivors. People who had terrible diseases and survived. Victims families of 9/11. I mean, if you sit and think about it-- we dated/married/were with someone who turned out to be not who we thought they were.

Of course the spectrum of pain is unique to each individual. And each person's story here is unique as well. I feel blessed I ended up "not" marrying this girl. It may have killed me.

So look at it from the other side; you were sick... .you had a disease (the relationship), but now, the medicine is taking action. You have rehab in front of you. Work to do. But what ailed you is now gone.

You can sit and stew about the time lost. The heartache. The pain you feel. But that only makes you, us, me, more a victim. It's allowing them to take more from us.

We have to just say what is "is". But now I have a fresh start.

Tomorrow, can be better. But you can't just sit there. You have to make those steps.

If you want to see the final speech by Matt Damon in the movie, it truly is the truth about what "we" must do.  Here is the 40 second clip:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MvEVh4RJ3rs

Cheers!

[JerryRG]

You're right GB20C

In the grand scheme of things what we endured was not the worst and others have pointed out our FOO issues as well. My childhood was a nightmare but I survived that too.

I told a good friend a few weeks ago that this whole relationship/new son thing was the toughest thing I've ever faced, she's known me all my life and her response was, oh no it's not.

I've endured horrible emotional and physical trauma all my life, my ex would complain because she had such a rough life. I would laugh inside because she had no clue. We are all miracles in the making and some have endured extreme abuse at the hands of loved ones and now pwBPD. We will survive and thrive.

A wise make said "life can be so difficult sometimes", to which a wiser man said, "compared to what?"

We get what we get and we only have control of how we act or react to what life brings our way. Like you said there are people dying as we text each other here. PwBPD suffer, we all suffer, they jump into new relationships so they never give themselves a chance to grow and learn about themselves. They live in the shadow of of other peoples lives and stay forever dependent on them and that may seem safe and convenient for the short term as we have learned everything about pwBPD is extremely brief and shallow.