17 months later

[disorderedsociety]

So, haven't posted in a while. I've been spending time focusing on my own life, growing my business and finding new people to talk to but someone from my past recently came back into my life. No, not the crazy, but a girl I'd been friends with before all that who -- get this -- at one point dated the guy my ex is with now. If that doesn't sound complicated enough, this friend of mine was friends with my ex and, after she told my ex that the guy she's with now had raped his sister years ago, contact was suddenly cut. If the topic of my ex comes up this friend of mine gets upset and says how my ex just stopped talking to her after she felt like they were close friends.

Now I feel like a bit of an idiot for being involved with this friend in any way, even though she's a healthier, more sane person by a longshot. The thing is she has a boyfriend and wants to get with me. We fooled around and I feel slightly bad about it. It sounds like their relationship is pretty much done though and its sort of poetic justice for how my ex so quickly got with this guy I knew and pregnant a month later.

Still, that doesn't change the fact that old wounds are being brought to the surface. I went ahead and had a look at my ex's profile on Facebook.

I did not recognize her at all.

She looks like she's trying really hard to be someone else, and sort of resembles the guy's ex who he obviously wasn't completely over when he got with mine. I think she is mimicking the girl's looks. Her last name is also that of the rebound guy and they had their son in November. My friend thinks they're perfect for each other. A borderline and a dark triad kind of guy (narcissist I suspect.)

I feel like I'm backtracking by coming here and writing all this out but I suppose I'm looking for support and need to get it out of my system.

[once removed]

hey disorderedsociety, welcome back  . i dont think its ever back tracking to get things out of your system and seek support. it helps to talk, and to get perspective from people who have walked in our shoes. the lessons and tools are also here for you to process.

so how are you feeling toward your ex these days? what about this new person seems healthier?

[disorderedsociety]

hey disorderedsociety, welcome back  . i dont think its ever back tracking to get things out of your system and seek support. it helps to talk, and to get perspective from people who have walked in our shoes. the lessons and tools are also here for you to process.

so how are you feeling toward your ex these days? what about this new person seems healthier?

I'm not sure that she is any healthier. I think she may be a narcissist too. She wants to have a sexual relationship with me while she's with her boyfriend and I've gotten mixed answers about mundane things in the past, things that cast her in a slightly better light. But it could be normal "girl" stuff.

My real hang-up is wondering what about this new guy compels my ex to try so hard to look good, or if she's desperately trying to keep him around. They have a kid together now so I have no idea what it would be like.

[disorderedsociety]

One more thing is that I found out they got married about 9 months into their relationship. 2 months in she got pregnant.