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Author Topic: Bf admitted to hospital :(  (Read 412 times)
Raspberry
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 59


« on: June 06, 2016, 01:48:31 PM »

I'm so sorry to be posting here again in a moment of need when I give nothing in return. This is all very new to me. I posted once a few weeks ago which you can probably see. Basically BPDboyf freaked out then regretted it and I gave him a second chance.

For 2 weeks everything has been lovely, I went up to stay with him in half term. I genuinely believe we are perfect for each other except today I had no contact with him until I saw a post on his insta saying  he was going into crisis then being admitted. I feel (selfishly) hurt that he didnt  feel able to tell me how low   things had got in the last few days. I called him and he said it's nothing to do with us but I can't help but worry after what happened a few weeks ago. I've reassured that I'm here for him, anytime, and that its just important he is safe. We are in a long distance relationship so I'm selfishly upset I won't see him this weekend.

I also  suffer with mental illness ... .an eating disorder and depression... yet I'm always the strong one who is coping when actually I want to yell and hurt myself. Ihave no support as I just get by by I'm worried and anxious. I will give him space but be there for him but I feel rubbishn myself and noone in my real life can ever understand this.

Are we just doomed, is the best thing in my life also the worst, should I just give up. Eveyone will tell me they told me so. I'm sorry  I can't help think ing it's a way of getting out of coming down this weekend and meeting my parents which know he was anxious about. ... .I just want him to feel better as he doesn't deserve this
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Icanteven
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 209


« Reply #1 on: June 06, 2016, 04:16:21 PM »

I'm so sorry to be posting here again in a moment of need when I give nothing in return.

I understand why you might feel this way, but there will come a day when you will be in the place to give back; you do you for now and remember we're all here to help each other.

l I saw a post on his insta saying  he was going into crisis then being admitted. I feel (selfishly) hurt that he didnt  feel able to tell me how low   things had got in the last few days. I called him and he said it's nothing to do with us but I can't help but worry after what happened a few weeks ago. I've reassured that I'm here for him, anytime, and that its just important he is safe. We are in a long distance relationship so I'm selfishly upset I won't see him this weekend.

I would feel upset too; someone you love is having a health crisis and he didn't feel like he could share it with you; that's not on either of you, though.  He is unwell; remember that.  In my own life, and in my own situation currently, this is one of the hardest things to get a grip on.  It's not supposed to make sense, and I'm sure the mods would have a much more nuanced and informational way of conveying that message, but in the end, his reasons almost certainly have nothing to do with trying to hurt you on purpose.

I also  suffer with mental illness ... .an eating disorder and depression... yet I'm always the strong one who is coping when actually I want to yell and hurt myself. Ihave no support as I just get by by I'm worried and anxious. I will give him space but be there for him but I feel rubbishn myself and noone in my real life can ever understand this.

I understand the sentiment, even if I can't claim to understand exactly how you feel.  My wife has told me for years that she feels worthless and that no one understands her.  I cannot tell you how many times she's wanted to hurt herself, and of a few times when she's actually done so.  Of how much she wants to yell at the universe. Of how, despite our incredibly blessed lives in almost every other respect, she focuses on the mental illnesses that finally massed together to overwhelm her.    It's got to be terrifying for you sometimes.

There are so many people here willing to help however we can, and so many who are going through something very similar to where you are.  I'm sorry you're going through this.




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Raspberry
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 59


« Reply #2 on: June 06, 2016, 05:35:29 PM »

Icanteven,

I don't know how to reply so you see this but thank you so much. Well he ended up pushing me away again tonight yet instead of acting on emotion like I did when it happened 2 weeks ago I actually managed to calm him down and get him thinking rationally again. I understand that he's quite ill but we do love each other which us why its such a tricky, sad situation  but I won't give up and I hope he doesn't either. I am the first girl he's loved so he's obviously struggling with that. I think we just need to keep talking.

I do feel a bit like I sweet talked into staying 'us' but he says it was the illness that was pushing me away as he's so scared of hurting me. I don't doubt he loves me but it really is 1 step at a time and trying to maintain a healthy relationship.

I swear with my own mental health issues I'm the only girl that will ever understand him although I probably do underestimate how unwell he is  but I just want hope it can work x
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