Dreams

[Ahoy]

The entire night I had dreams about my Ex. naughty dreams, except I wasn't the one being naughty with her... .

So I wake up obviously feeling terrible, I decide to go to work an hour late to get another hours sleep, sure enough I have ANOTHER dream about her.

Three months out, these dreams are becoming more and more common again. they certainly don't knock me around like they did at the beginning, but I can definitely say they take any shine off from the day.

How do you guys go with dreams? I don't think I have much control over it, I'm guessing this relates to the trauma bond that exists. I guess it's just natures way of unkinking the garden hose?

Cheers,

[JerryRG]

Hey Ahoy

I have dreams of my ex and her bf, I used to get angry and on a few occasions beat them both. I know dreams are not real and I wouldn't do anything like that in real life. One thing I think is important and that is don't try to control the dreams or the feelings that result. If our brains need something it's going to have it, I can control my dreams to a point. But when I try to take control I don't get the rest I need. I sometimes have full movie dreams that go on and on, I think because of stress?

Having far fewer lately, I would let your dreams flow and trust that you will survive. I'm still jealous but when I think about my exgf the good times were so few and I fought for every moment of peace. I know mine isn't happy and she's proven it to me. I asked my ex yesterday in a text if one day she would see how much I loved her and gave her. I know the truth, I hope one day she can look back and see it all.

[thrownforaloop]

Hello,

That sounds like a particularly tough dream, Ahoy. Sorry to hear about the torment. Last night I had my first angry dream about the man  pwBPDexw cheated with. All I remember is that I saw him in a car and started yelling at him. The dream ended as I approached him. But other than that, I sometimes just have "remembrances" of my reality and it causes me to wake up. Remembering some of the details from my life lately is worse than the nightmares. Ugh.

[VeraTrue]

Yeah, I have dreams occasionally still, many months later. Usually panic dreams, that she's in danger and I'm trying to find her only to discover her laughing and partying and totally fine.   Or I'm trying to communicate with her and she can't hear me or my voice won't work.  For me it's the PTSD I am now healing from, which stemmed from her multiple relapses and suicide attempts and the occasions where I actually thought she was dying in front of me.

A common technique for bad dreams is changing the storyline in your mind the second you wake up, starting from the first bad part. The next time you have the dream you can try to access that story instead.

Hang in there.