If someone asked your expwBPD about you/why your relationship with them ended...

[SummerStorm]

My pwBPD is a current friend/former lover, so it's a bit different, but still very much the same. 

It depends on who she's talking to and what her opinion of me is at that very moment (white or black).

Her mom brought me up a few weeks ago, while they were spending a few days together, and started trashing me, just to see what my pwBPD would say.  She defended me from one end to the other and told her mom that I'm "K=kind, smart, loving, and fun to be around."  And yet, I can barely get her to reply to my texts and haven't had an extended conversation with her in months. 

Now, when the first and second discards happened last year, it was because I'm "psychotic." 

[BarbHH]

Well, my ex acknowledges he's got a problem of personality disorder, but says he is no "borderline", although he's been officially diagnosed by his therapist, and it was confirmed by the results of his tests.

Anyway, his got troubles, and problems, but he doesn't want to admit he is sick (except to me, he hasn't told nobody, even his family, he only speaks of a problem of anger management).

I finally left him a month ago, and I'm not entirely sure what he thinks. But my guess is that I left because I was influenced by my friends and family (true enough, after 3 years of abuse, even sometimes physical, everybody told me to leave), and that they are traitors.

Another thing he would typically say is that we were only hurting each other, and we both needed freedom (actually, I would have really needed respect as well and security as well).

He would also mention a communication problem, as it is what he said about his previous relationship.

He also says I have very big psychological issues because I was bitten up my Dad as a little child. It is not true, I wasn't an abused child, but he says I am lying. So he would blame our problems on the fact that my past as an abused child (that I was NOT) has screwed me and made me very difficult.

The worst is that everybody on his side (friends and family) think he is right, and that I am the crazy one. Everybody knows that I have been depressed and in therapy for a long time (because of the abuse of my husband, although of course, people did not know that was the reason why I needed a therapist), and that my family is complicated, so they are blaming me.

It's a horrible feeling to have been abused for 3 years and to be blamed for it. It's like being stabbed in the back. I guess I am also being blamed for destroying the image of perfect guy that my husband used to have.

Terribly unfair though... .

[khibomsis]

Well, my ex ST-ed me so I can't say  no only kidding. She said that I had said to yet another friend of mine she had alienated that she (ex) was having a thing with friend of my friend. This she said about two months after she ST-ed me when we did have one kinda closure talk. But like an idiot I told her she should go see a therapist because I thought she had BPD. Bad move. She did say shortly before she overpowered me and tried to strangle me that I talked too much and needed to shut up. Guess I needed to work on my  communication skills... .

[sweet tooth]

I don't know. She never gave me an explanation and mutual acquaintances never brought it up. I probably wouldn't talk to them about it, either.

[vortex of confusion]

I haven't read all of the responses. I wanted to weigh in because I have seen and heard some of the things that he has told people about me and our relationship. My stbx is a sex addict and would post ads and talk to women. His latest love interest was a lady that he knew in college. He kept telling me how much he loved her and that he felt a special connection with her and that she was different from all of the other women that he had talked to and that he thought she was worth chasing (unlike me and his other potential conquests).

I contacted her. She told me that he said I was nice around the kids but would go on rampages when they weren't around. He told her that he had issues and was working on them and doing so much better, especially since he found her and had her in his life.

Some of the stuff that he has told other women about me/our relationship:

1. I stopped saying I love you. (LOL. Anybody that knows me knows that is complete hogwash.)

2. I stopped having sex with him. (He told this to a lady a couple of years ago. The funny thing was that he and I had been intimate within the same week he told her this. If I didn't help him get a release for any length of time, he would get upset and be a jerk, chase other women, and then tell them that I wouldn't have sex with him.)

Some of the things that he has told me directly is that I am too demanding, I don't keep the house clean enough, I have too many clothes, and too much stuff in general. I ask him for things that he can't give.

He admits openly that he is a sex addict and seems to wear that badge with pride. He will tell people that things ended because I kicked him out. Yep, he has problems but it is all my fault because I am a raging b**h that kicked him out. He is the victim of a Godless wife that doesn't value marriage. He didn't want things to end and was working on things but I am impossible to please no matter what he does.

[reincarnate93]

I think mine would say something along those lines, when in reality I got to close to her and it triggered a whole lot of emotional abuse for me. It's a no win situation,  for me at least

[sflearnignbpd]

Here is the last response I got from her:

"Being free from abuse feels good. I can come to my house any time I want, without fear. xxxxx(her son) is having a harder time dealing with your abuse of him and me, but I'm working hard to undo the damage that you caused in our relationship."

She loved to push me away and come back and pretend nothing happened.  I would still be upset, want to talk, resolve issues to make sure it never happened again, and she would just run off again and tell me it is all my fault.

One time she jumped out of a moving car and I wasn't home when she made it back(she lost her keys).  Another time she started the same exact fight over money that we had days before(like it never happened).  After she stormed out I went to visit family and calm down.  While I was gone she went out got drunk, bought drugs, lost her keys and phone, and blamed it all on me for locking her out of the house.  I was always expected to sit around and wait for the next tornado.  Sometimes it would take minutes.  Other times it would take days while she was off staying in a hotel.

I spoke at extent with xxxxx near the end of our relationship and he recommended that I end the relationship for my own health.  He said "I don't know why you are still putting up with this bull___."  She then raged on him for weeks after it ended.  I know it was rough on him, and that is why their relationship was suffering at the time she sent this.   

I doubt she says anything bad to the people who know me and the story, but probably tells all of my replacements that I was extremely abusive.