BPD, genetic in my family

[Parents! Get help here!]

Hi,

I'm new here.  There seems to be a strong genetic link with the women in my family.  My grandmother, my mother, my aunt, my sister and most disheartening, my adult daughter seem to have/had BPD.  I want to learn how to cope and not be hurt so much.  I want to find peace with my life as I watch woman with normal family female relationships have so much that I will never have.  I don't want to be their target any longer.  My adult daughter seems to take out her hatred and anxiety on me.  I need strategies and maybe some knowledge that there are others out there dealing with the same issues.  But, how do you leave love that is so hardwired?

[JudyGarland]

Hi,

I'm new here.  There seems to be a strong genetic link with the women in my family.  My grandmother, my mother, my aunt, my sister and most disheartening, my adult daughter seem to have/had BPD.  I want to learn how to cope and not be hurt so much.  I want to find peace with my life as I watch woman with normal family female relationships have so much that I will never have.  I don't want to be their target any longer.  My adult daughter seems to take out her hatred and anxiety on me.  I need strategies and maybe some knowledge that there are others out there dealing with the same issues.  But, how do you leave love that is so hardwired?

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[tristesse]

Hi Judygarland  and welcome to bpdfamily

I'm so sorry that you are having to deal with the stressors and emotional upheaval that is BPD.

This is the right place to learn coping and communication skills, and the people here are the right ones to help advise and guide you. We all have a BPD in our lives, so we can all relate on some level.

Self care is of the utmost importance when dealing with BPD, the illness is brutal and non discriminate, so those of use dealing with a BPD loved one, seem to always get caught in the line of fire. We need to be well rested and prepared to arm ourselves against the verbal assault.

There is a great deal of information available on this board, and I suggest you start with the TOOLS and LESSONS, on the right side of the board. practice using S.E.T. ( SUPORT, EMPATHY , TRUTH) in your everyday conversations, not just with a BPD person, but with everybody. the more you practice the skills you will learn here, the better you become at using them.

Please keep posting and updating, the more information you provide, the better able we are to assist. give as much information as possible without using real names and exact location.

and just so you know that I relate on a personal level, I have diagnosed BPD daughter, age 32 living in my home, when I came to this site a little over 2 years ago, I was filled with desperation and felt helpless. I posted true accounts of the hell I was living in, and through the advice and help I received here, I have better relationship with my daughter today, she rarely rages or is purposely mean. I learned how to talk to her and not at her, and I learned how to hear, not just listen when she is talking.

There is hope, so don't give up.

I really hope to see you here again soon