New Number

[thrownforaloop]

So, since blocking my exBPDw's number last Sunday I have been having a very anxiety free week! That is until today, when she texted from a new number. Something like "New phone, old one sucked. Now we can play Draw something for hours together! We don't have to be friends. You should check out this magazine on happiness. Okay, have a nice day."

UGH. I just want her to leave me alone, you know? I really think she knows how much texting me like we are friends bothers me, but she does it anyway. I guess it's time to block this new number too. 

[Lucky Jim]

Hey thrownforaloop, in my view, this is a boundary issue.  How much or how little contact do you want with your BPDxW?  When I separated from my BPDxW, she was constantly calling to berate me.  I reached a point where I refused to take her calls.  Her emails went into a separate folder to be reviewed when I had time and was not at work.  That was my boundary.  Maybe you could send her a text outlining what you are comfortable with?  Otherwise, I would disregard texts or postpone any response.

LuckyJim

[thrownforaloop]

Hey thrownforaloop, in my view, this is a boundary issue.  How much or how little contact do you want with your BPDxW?  When I separated from my BPDxW, she was constantly calling to berate me.  I reached a point where I refused to take her calls.  Her emails went into a separate folder to be reviewed when I had time and was not at work.  That was my boundary.  Maybe you could send her a text outlining what you are comfortable with?  Otherwise, I would disregard texts or postpone any response.

LuckyJim

Hey LuckyJim, that's a clever system to avoid hearing from them. However, in the past when I have specifically mentioned that I do not want to hear from her (unless it is in regards to my her son), she seems to amp up how much she tries to contact. She has a pattern of doing the opposite of whatever I request... .So I wonder if instead of specifically telling her I don't' want to talk to her, I'll just discretely block this new number.

What do you think?

[Lucky Jim]

Hey thrown, It's your call, my friend.  Blocking sounds a little passive-aggressive to me, but sometimes one has to draw a line.  Maybe you could just text her that you won't be available for her text messages and that she should send you an email instead?  Much less intrusive and easier to control if communications are via email, in my view.  LJ

[thrownforaloop]

Hey thrown, It's your call, my friend.  Blocking sounds a little passive-aggressive to me, but sometimes one has to draw a line.  Maybe you could just text her that you won't be available for her text messages and that she should send you an email instead?  Much less intrusive and easier to control if communications are via email, in my view.  LJ

Yeah... .true. I do worry that, by blocking her, eventually she will just show up in person or something. But, at the same time, last week I specifically said "Please stop texting me" and that caused her to go in a rage of sending 20+ additional texts of basically what I terrible person I am. And I don't have phone calls blocked, so if there were some emergency, she could call. All I know is, when I see I've received a text and she's not blocked--it gives me anxiety. It makes it really difficult that she doesn't respect my wishes, otherwise I would tell her and request she could send emails instead. But knowing her, she wouldn't take kindly to that.

[C.Stein]

Hey thrown, It's your call, my friend.  Blocking sounds a little passive-aggressive to me, but sometimes one has to draw a line.  Maybe you could just text her that you won't be available for her text messages and that she should send you an email instead?  Much less intrusive and easier to control if communications are via email, in my view.  LJ

Yeah... .true. I do worry that, by blocking her, eventually she will just show up in person or something. But, at the same time, last week I specifically said "Please stop texting me" and that caused her to go in a rage of sending 20+ additional texts of basically what I terrible person I am. And I don't have phone calls blocked, so if there were some emergency, she could call. All I know is, when I see I've received a text and she's not blocked--it gives me anxiety. It makes it really difficult that she doesn't respect my wishes, otherwise I would tell her and request she could send emails instead. But knowing her, she wouldn't take kindly to that.

Blocking her number would be for your own personal health.  You aren't in a relationship with her anymore so what she thinks doesn't really matter.  She will think what she wants to.  This isn't about her, this is about you and what you need to do in order to heal.

[Confused108]

If she continues to bother you get a restraint order on her