Now she wants money

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

She now swears that she will respect no contact if I pay her 3 grand. She claimes I owe it to her for pain and suffering. I believe I owe her nothing. Do you think she will leave me alone if I pay her off? Any additional thought?

[Jacidrinkswine]

She now swears that she will respect no contact if I pay her 3 grand. She claimes I owe it to her for pain and suffering. I believe I owe her nothing. Do you think she will leave me alone if I pay her off? Any additional thought?

[C.Stein]

Is there ever an end to blackmail?

[greenmonkey]

If you give her any financial help it will set a precedence for future behaviour and whenever she is in need of financial help you will be her first thought.

Just go no contact, ignore any demands - and what will be false promises in the future.

Concentrate on you and your well being that is more important. Do not react or respond to anything and start taking steps to move forward with your life

[Jacidrinkswine]

No. But I just want the phone calls and harassment to stop.

[greenmonkey]

Most mobiles have a block function, if you are happy using it - use it,

Get the emails from her directed to a spam folder and ignore them

You can get landline call blockers where the last number entered can be stored and all withheld numbers etc are automatically blocked.

I am 18 months down the road and my saga is continuing if you read my threads. Am I left alone no - but the frequency is falling - but saying that I am aware enough of her triggers to know what happens next - and how the next 3-4 months will play out

Only you can take control of what happens from now with regards to the harassment and calls.

[JerryRG]

Oh my, those crazy games, my exgf claimed she got a call from child support that I was $2000 behind on my payments. Yep, my cs is direct deposited and nothing says I love ya like "give me money or else"  These people are amazingly disturbed

[Jacidrinkswine]

Jerry,

I did not go into it in this thread - but she said in writing more or less she will ruin me if I don't give her money. Said I would spend more in lawyers defending criminal charges. If I knew it would finally end this nightmare would pay the bribe. But I think she will never leave me alone.

[sweet tooth]

Do you have a paper trail? If so, you have proof that she is blackmailing her.

I wouldn't pay her a dime. If you pay her once, she will view you as a gold mine. She will extort you until the well runs dry. It's not like you can write up a contract that both parties will have to agree on in a situation like this.

[sweet tooth]

Jerry,

I did not go into it in this thread - but she said in writing more or less she will ruin me if I don't give her money. Said I would spend more in lawyers defending criminal charges. If I knew it would finally end this nightmare would pay the bribe. But I think she will never leave me alone.

Can't you take that to the police as evidence of extortion?

[unsureuncertain]

 If you pay her then I strongly suggest you get something in writing so that she won't bother you in the future for  money and knows it's a one time final thing. In retrospect, I wish I was able to compromise with my exBPDgf because once I stopped responding, she understood that I no longer wanted to be friends. Once she realized contact wasn't an option she tried her best to ruin me. unfortunately although many of the allegations were false they caused me financial hardship and hurt those close to me (my family, the relationship I had established with a new girl and my children. I was constantly stressed and this girl pulled out all the stops including hospital visits documenting alleged physical abuse which I didn't cause. It took months to fix the mess. I wish I could redo it and worked out a compromise to avoid all my subsequent pain and loss.

[Leonis]

Like others have said, this is a good time to use the police and lawyer up.