The subject of my topic has changed for some reason... .
Thank you all so much for your replies. The understanding in these boards has been amazing.
Sometimes I wonder if being ghosted is a blessing in disguise?
What is keeping you from blocking him if every time he messages you it knocks you down?
Ghosting is extremely difficult but I seriously don't know what hurts the most. I think the amount of open doors I leave has to do with the amount of hope I have for reconnecting with him. I slowly blocked him on one way of communication, then on another and I am now at the point where I only left one way for him to reach me. I guess there is some hope still left in me. But it's an emotional hope, not an intellectual one. I KNOW there is no future with him.
They do have a 6th sense. Learning yourself and finding a way to get ahead of them. Not easy, but yes, they do have a way of getting you when is least convenient.
Where would you like to be? Where do you see yourself? Try and pick a small, VERY specific goal and choose and environment conducive to achieving that goal. I.e. My mother sends awful texts that bring me to tears. My baby sister lives with them, so I choose not to block my mother. When she texts, I wait for my husband to come home, he checks the text, if its nothing life shattering or nothing I need to know about, he deletes it. Find what works for you. Little goals, baby steps.
This is just my reality and my experience. I hope you find something that works for you!
This is so nice of your husband Babybat. I am glad you have his support. I do try to set up goals but unfortunately I tend to drop them when I am down. Such a difficult experience! I wish I knew better.
My ex called me after six months of silence the day I registered here. While typing out my introductory post and telling my story, my phone goes off. I look, and its her! After six months! Its almost like she could sense from miles away that I was making an effort at recovery and tried to intervene. That was eerie.
It sure was Nuitari... .I really can't explain it. Hang in there!
My ex always seemed to contact me when my life was running smother and better. I believe she loves seeing me fail, others have told me that but it sure would fit her pattern of punishing me like she did when we were together.
I am not sure that she loves to see you fail, but she surely loves to see that you are still hurting about her and that she is still the center of your universe. They are needy and the roller coaster rides leave us pretty much needy too.
It's way more about them, to them, than anything to do with us.
Doesn't matter if we're feeling better, or worse, or whatever.
When they're needy/empty/etc. that's when they attempt contact.
You are right about that. One of the reasons I have stopped my self from contacting him some times was that I was afraid he wouldn't respond and I just couldn't deal with that possibility on top of all the hurt. He had given me the silent treatment so many times when we "were together" that it now almost works on me as a post traumatic stress. I just can't allow my self to experience all that cruelty again. And that was because he wasn't empty or needy during those times. But after a few days he would pop up and tell me how much he had missed me etc and I would be on cloud nine again.
But still... .the fact that his emptiness coincides with mine every time is beyond me.
I know how that feels.
On Tuesday night, members from my local church congregation visited me for the first time since I moved to my place last August. I was feeling encouraged and thought about being part of the fellowship again until I saw how my ex unblocked me on Facebook less than an hour after the visit.
I hope you do join the fellowship though if this is something you want!
Why don't you respond?
Because responding has left me more and more broken every time. I did respond after all but thankfully I stopped at a very brief and polite message. He then continued with more emotionally manipulative messages as expected but I am trying to stay strong. Hurting300 I know from reading your posts in other threads that you tend to believe that their silent treatments and ghosting is the same thing as when we are trying to avoid contact in order to heal. I wish you could understand the difference.
