Yeah and the question do you have any plan? If your ex contact you back after months, what you would do?
Hi LC-
Pretty much everyone here has experienced what you're going through and have been tempted to write that letter or similar. And it's helpful to ask yourself what's the goal? I don't know your whole story but I do know you ended up on the detaching board of a support site for folks in relationships with borderlines, so that tells me a lot. And it's great to write the letter, something about writing our thoughts and feelings down that helps them make sense, and takes some of the energy out of them by putting them on paper, so by all means do that, and if your goal is to emotionally detach from this woman, remove her from your life for good, would sending it help that or hurt it? We usually get to give ourselves closure once these relationships are done, more powerful that way really, when we're not reliant on something external, we get to create the beliefs and meanings necessary to take value from the relationship, learn from the experience, and let it go with grace. Not easy sometimes, and maybe it won't happen overnight, but what if you were headed in that direction? How good would it feel to be headed in that direction? What can you do to take a step in that direction right now?
And to answer your question, which goes back to the goal, if you focus on creating an awesome life, and have decided she couldn't be a part of it, and you worked on your own detachment and serenity, if she contacts you at some point down the road, would it matter? You might be in a place by then that you could say, if you even return the call or whatever, that you no longer want her in your life, please do not contact me again, and all of it with complete emotional calm, because you've moved on. Attractive yes? So what do you need to do to get there?
