It is hard when you feel let down like this by therapists and family alike.
being made to feel like a persecutor i shard, most others are simply glad it is not them being assigned the role and find it easier to slip on the rescuer hat. The dynamic is called
"Triangulation"
My wife has been diagnosed with mental illness, and has been on a disability pension most of her adult life, yet no one diagnosed it as BPD until i did my research and pointed people that way. My wife is low functioning to, and been in and out of the medical system with all kinds of crisis.
There has been endless amounts of ineffective therapies, so yes this is normal. Selling stories is unfortunately a common factor in BPD. In fact her therapists now wants me to be present to, as they are now well aware she has a vivid interpretation of reality, even misinterpreting what they say.
BPD distortions often have enough truth in them to be believable and can fool anyone, even professionals. It is hard for therapists to be skeptical without becoming invalidating to the point of not being trusted...
In a weird way pwBPD feel betrayed by people because they dont automatically believe their BS stories. That is, they wont even take responsibility for the consequence of their own falsehoods.
To attempt to remove falsehoods and delusions is almost like trying to peel their skin off, it is all they have to protect themselves, and it is painful to them. They will resist and revert to desperate victim mode.
There is much to learn her so that you limit how much this affects you
Waverider
