to finish with BD partner

[zonnebloem]

Hello,

My BD contacted me one and a half year ago. He is the father of 2 sons  (age 36 and 30) and a daughter (25) with the woman he was married to and he left them for a romance with a younger woman and after that,  the girl who was friend of her. This all din't work out and he was suïcidal but met "the love of his life" whom he has a daughter with. She is now 16 and he stayed unhappily with her mother untill she threw him out for she felt neglected. There was much disagreement ... .the ex and the kids. After 3 years alone (so he says) he contacted me for we had met on a camp with his (then 13 years) daughter and her mother.
I then had a big fall out with that young girl and her mother for they controlled me and I said that I wasn't gone take any orders of a young girl. I am 52 an my BD is 56
So... .3 years later, her dad contacts me. He had fallen in love on first sight but was loyal to the family he was with until his woman had enough of being neglected. There were many diagreements on how he did go on holiday with his kids and also with the daughter.
Well... .I wasn't truely aware of what I started with this fellow. I was very lonely and fell for this romance very quickly. I did tell thim that I was not gonna get involved with him because I wanted nothing to do with his ex and their daughter.
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He (also) called me the love of his life and spoiled me.
First

[zonnebloem]

to continue what  I wrote, we had problems as I am manipulated,bossed upon, etc.
He arranged  to be on holiday for 1 moth with his daughters... .myself  could n even go to a girlfriends place without him ... .I  told him that I'd  leave him.
So I must be strong for when he might come to see me.

thanks 4 sharing

[Lucky Jim]

Hey zonnebloom, Welcome!  Can you fill us in a little more?  Can't quite figure out your situation.  Thanks, LJ

[zonnebloem]

Well Lucky Jim,

I am in a on-off relationship with a single father of 4 kids. He arranged to go on holiday with his 2 daughters, this month. I told him I couln't support his behaviour since he first split up with me to be able to go on this trip with his daughters. They knew I was against it because they do not even want their father to be happy with me. The oldest one said that he spent to much money on us, but he keeps giving them a lot because he feels guilty that the relationship with their mothers didn't work out. So well, we went on a 3-days-trip for my birthday , 3 months ago (him and me) and then he said that is was the last trip because he needed his holiday and money to travel with his daughters. They are in Ireland now. He drives the car, all the way from Belgium (where we live) because they are going to Dublin and the 25-year doesn't dare to fly. The 16-year will go by plane. They will be gone for one month.
I was sad when we split and didn't want to lose him for his daugters and didn't want to miss out on the trips that we still plan to do.
So I cried a lot and he said: "give me your tears" and I thougt I needed him and we were back together. When I say that things are over he can act very disconnected.
Last month he had said that he'd love to go to a festival with me and I said: "well, next week."
He didn't answer and I knew he was gonna stay home with the 16-yearold daughter. She is with him every other W-end. She used to be with him every other week. She didn't want me to date her dad and stayed with the moter for 3 monts. I knew he missed her and started to yell at me why I had anything against is daugter. I said tha sha was moving me out and that he was giving her what she wants by yelling at me an clapping the door when I give a single word of kritiek when she cf. hadn't done what he'd ask her. All the time the mother would ring and complain and then I complained for he even answered the Phone when I was in bed with him.
And then he went mad and sarcastic and said it was all to hear about his daugter.
So... .yes... .I told him I have over and done with him and that it is totally not normal that he is so clung to his daugter(s)
well, I'd love you support when they are back from holiday that I don't take him back!
I am single, my father had Bd and I get no love from the family nor neighbourhood.
I do volunteeringwork to be "myself". My Bd had complained and is Always jealous and I Always had to tell  him whom I spoke to, where I went and he didn't want me te have a good time without him... .so he said too. BUT... .he can go on holiday for One month and organise it behind my back? Everybody who doesn't support this, he just says that they are jealous!
I sent a letter to his sister and her husband; I told them that I connot any longer take care of my BD; even when he talks about suïcide. I asked them to read about borderline.
I am not gonna discuss anything with his family for I want MY LIFE back.

thanks for support