Couple days alone to relax and recharge

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

I think Cat Familiar had some alone time recently... .and loved it.

I'm looking forward to the next few days.  Have several projects that will go much smoother with less interruptions. 

Also, looking forward to some time with a book and cup of coffee.

FF

[formflier]

I think Cat Familiar had some alone time recently... .and loved it.

I'm looking forward to the next few days.  Have several projects that will go much smoother with less interruptions. 

Also, looking forward to some time with a book and cup of coffee.

FF

[byfaith]

Enjoy

[flourdust]

Alone time. So wonderful.

You know, I've always been an introvert, so having time alone has been something I've cherished. Early in my marriage, I noticed that I wasn't enjoying days to myself the way I used to. If my wife was out of town, I'd feel lonely and bored. That was one of the ways I knew that I loved her.

Later, as the BPD flared up, I found myself loving alone time. Not missing her at all. That was a sign that things had changed.

[formflier]

I'm an ESTJ... .pretty big on the extrovert side of things. 

One of the reasons that I love to Uber (ride share) is that I get to talk to new and interesting people.  The money is really secondary.  Lots of times I will feel recharged at the end of several hours of driving... .rather than be tired.

I value my alone time to get quiet with myself.  I do enjoy being around me and thinking things through. 

Time to read, think... .turn those ideas over in my head a couple times and then read it again.  Really solidify things that I want to believe and "put into my core".

Also good to have alone time to put the past into it's proper perspective... .to remember it is the past and look forward to what tomorrow will bring.


FF

[UnfadingLife]

The longer I stay away, the less I want to return.

[formflier]

The longer I stay away, the less I want to return.

Yep... .I have had that feeling as well.  I would guess most people on this board have had that feeling.

It's completely understandable for you to feel that way.

I would challenge you to focus less on what you want and more on what is the emotionally healthy thing to do for you and your children. 

Hold that up as the standard for you.  Once you can walk the walk AND talk the talk, it will be easier to hold your hubby to that same standard.  He may choose to chase the standard, or he may choose to reject it.  Let him decide.  Honor his choice, even if you don't agree with it. 

Honor your choice, even if he doesn't agree with it.

You are the leader here.  That is an uncomfortable job, but one that must be done.

FF

[Cat Familiar]

FF, I hope you're having an enjoyable alone time.

Having no one to answer to, no one who needs something, no one who is "lonely" and wanting me to do something about it, no noise of radio or TV--this is the way I recharge. I realize it's quite different for an extrovert, but I understand that too--getting a recharge from someone with whom you don't need to interact on a daily basis--that can be wonderful too.

Before my batteries run dry, I need to carve out this alone time for me every day, otherwise the burdens of living with someone with mental illness becomes too great. I don't exclude myself from this description because the more I've learned about BPD, the more I realize how damaging it was to grow up with my mother. She's been gone for 13 years and I'm realizing more and more how her mental illness affected me.

Thankfully I've been able to undo much of the damage, but it surprises me when something suddenly dawns upon me regarding her. I started a thread for the first time on the Children Of BPD's board. My sudden realization was that she was the first "mean girl" in my life, setting me up to be the recipient of bullying throughout school, until college when my life took a sudden change for the better.

Without alone time, I wouldn't have the opportunity to think my thoughts and to work out my issues. It's a wonderful thing and I appreciate every minute and it helps me to appreciate my husband more when we spend time together.

[formflier]

TV didn't come on one time... .

I did get some reading done that I have been wanting to get to.  Lots of glorious uninterrupted sleep.

Took some walks, long workouts at gym.  I was a total chatterbox when I went to church today. 

But this has really been more of an introvert recharge rather than an extrovert one.

Did lots of journaling, wrote some stuff back and forth to the P that we will further discuss in our session on Tuesday.

Likely I'll be asleep when they get home tonight.  Back to a loud house tomorrow. 

It was a good break!

FF