I hate you hope.

[Depression = 72% of members]

So today is the last day of my 9 day vacation with everyday has been completely agony without my ex. She came and even surprise visited me 2daus before my vacation told me she loved me etc. and was going to spend my vacation with me. The next day she said she was sick and had to go home but she would spend time with me this week and said she promised. Then on the 4th I see she spent the day with another guy and was in his arms etc.not even 4 days later,I got angry and posted something on my Facebook about her,then deleted it she stil saw it through friends then I get a message asking about it and I didn't reply,that was Tuesday night and I haven't heard anything else,she still seems to not be in a relationship,and I'm still working on detaching as it's been 5 weeks since we ended but I'm literally in agony every second,aside from what I need and want I can't tell if She'll actually try recycling again or if this is really it,did the past recycles all lead up to one final end and maybe I should consider that last night she spent with me cuddling and speaking of love as my closure,my end? I really miss her so much even after everything.

[Xstang77]

So today is the last day of my 9 day vacation with everyday has been completely agony without my ex. She came and even surprise visited me 2daus before my vacation told me she loved me etc. and was going to spend my vacation with me. The next day she said she was sick and had to go home but she would spend time with me this week and said she promised. Then on the 4th I see she spent the day with another guy and was in his arms etc.not even 4 days later,I got angry and posted something on my Facebook about her,then deleted it she stil saw it through friends then I get a message asking about it and I didn't reply,that was Tuesday night and I haven't heard anything else,she still seems to not be in a relationship,and I'm still working on detaching as it's been 5 weeks since we ended but I'm literally in agony every second,aside from what I need and want I can't tell if She'll actually try recycling again or if this is really it,did the past recycles all lead up to one final end and maybe I should consider that last night she spent with me cuddling and speaking of love as my closure,my end? I really miss her so much even after everything.

[hope2727]

The hope is a killer. A cruel killer. I am sorry you are hurting.

[Xstang77]

I'm really struggling with the detachment yet sliver of hope,yesterday was absolutely awful and today is a lot better,I know these cycles of feeling good then horrible are common,could this really be it of hearing from her, is it sad that the fact she still has her adress and Mail her giving me hope come off as destructive and pathetic?

[ICantFixHer]

Dear X,

My heart goes out to you.

The sooner you realize how freaking lucky you are to be out of her sphere of influence, the sooner you will move on. Now you know what to look for in the next partner -- and there will be another one for you. I promise.

Stay strong, man. My advice is to forget about her. It was all fake. You got used, man. Realize the reasons why -- there is no reason to hate her, this is who she is -- and put yourself first for once. I have been there. Ten years wasted on a fake future with a BPD cheating skunk. Don't be me.

All the best. Be strong. You are all you have. Make the change.

[Xstang77]

Just wierd I haven't heard anything maybe after all the recycles she's moved on this time and that's it? I'm really craving a recycle we haven't seen each other in 2 weeks and it's making me wanna cave,10 years? Wow I could barely get 2 with mine.